But I was wrong. I was very wrong. The next thing I knew I had a pistol held to my head. I could hear the blood bubbling inside me as he pressed it deeper into my temple. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to. I was terrified. I could feel the warmth of piss streaming down my legs.

‘Please,’ I whispered to him. ‘Please don’t kill me. I’m sorry. I swear I am.’

But he didn’t move. He kept that gun to my head.

I closed my eyes, waited for the explosion, the pain, the darkness. My heart was racing and my throat felt like it was closing up. I didn’t want to die.

Then, after what seemed like a lifetime, the pressure of the gun disappeared.

‘Get the fuck inside and clean yourself up.’

I did as he asked then went to my room to wait for him. When he came in he still had the gun in his hands. I didn’t want to look at him so I turned away and fixed my eyes on a black stain on the wall. It’s just above where I sleep and it’s been there since I was five years old when Sarge was teaching me to clean my boots with black polish. I remember I dipped my finger in the gooey mixture and tried to eat it. Sarge shook his head and told me that it wasn’t meant for eating, it was made for polishing. I was a bit of a naughty kid back then so instead of going and washing my hand in the lake I just wiped it on the wall. When I did that Sarge didn’t shout, he just told me to go and get a cloth and wipe it off. But I didn’t do a very good job of it and it left a smudge. I remember Sarge saying that he would leave it there to remind me not to be insubordinate.

I was thinking about the old Sarge as I stood there waiting for him to speak, remembering how calm he used to be, still strict but fair. This new Sarge was dangerous and unpredictable and I didn’t know how to deal with him.

He was quiet for a minute or so then he put his face up to my face and I expected him to yell. But instead he spoke in this really weird, low voice. ‘From this moment on,’ he said, ‘you are no longer to be referred to as Soldier Number One. You have lost your rank and your liberty.’ I nodded my head but because his face was so close to mine my nose rubbed against his. I remembered him doing that when I was little. I remember how he used to laugh and call me his ‘funny girl’. My eyes started to well up as I thought about that but I quickly blinked the tears away before he noticed. ‘You have committed a serious breach,’ he went on, still in that weird voice. ‘A breach that compromised the safety and security of your fellow officer and that of the barracks. Do you understand?’ I should have said yes but I wanted him to know that Isobel meant no harm, so I said that he’d got the wrong end of the stick, that Isobel wasn’t a threat to our safety, she was just a really sweet girl. He went quiet and I thought he must be coming round but then he stood back, lifted his gun and pointed it at my head again.