I knew Mohktar would come and he did. He took his shoes and socks off and stood beside me in the water. After a while, he said, ‘You tried to wake your mother more than once that afternoon, didn’t you, Nikki?’

I nodded. Then I said, ‘I can’t remember if it was after people began looking for Saffie or before Mum got up, but I know I went outside and sat on the veranda on a chair. That sun seemed huge and strange to me. It filled the whole sky. I knew something bad had happened, really bad. I felt…numb and frightened, but I didn’t know why and I didn’t know how to explain to Mum how I felt…in the very depths of me.’

‘I watched that sun begin to fall behind the sea and I sat there looking outward waiting for Saffie to come home. Calling her in my head like we used to, in the private language we had, that only she could understand.

‘I saw two fishermen across the beach. They had nets and torches. They got into a boat and I couldn’t really see them properly as the light went. Then they poled across the last curve of the sun and they were silhouetted, black, like stick figures across the sky and I…I froze with fear.’

My heart hammered as I remembered.

‘The fishermen frightened you?’

‘No! No. It was the sound…the sound coming nearer and nearer…but I couldn’t leave my chair until Saffie came…I couldn’t run inside.’

‘What sound, Nikki? What did you hear?’

I didn’t want to remember. I didn’t want to go back. Mohktar took my hands and held them, firmly, facing me. ‘Tell me what you heard that night, Nikki.’

‘Someone running…coming towards me in the dark…moaning, gasping under their breath or hurt…crying as they ran…Then a man ran past the front of the house but he didn’t see me in the dark and he began to climb, stumbling up the cliff steps still making odd whimpering sounds as if he couldn’t help it. Then I heard a bamboo door in the dark behind me squeak and slam as he went inside one of the houses. The night was quiet again, but the noises he made went on and on in my head…like a hurt animal. I couldn’t move. I saw a light go on somewhere and the sound of a shower. Then I ran inside to my room because I knew Saffie wouldn’t be coming home. Her voice was silent in my head…I knew she would never come home.’

Mohktar led me out of the water and I sat down leaning against the rocks because my legs wouldn’t hold me up. Mohktar crouched in front of me, his face concerned.

‘Why?’ I asked him. ‘What is the point of remembering now? It’s too late. It can only hurt us. Why couldn’t I remember at the time?’

‘The mind has a way of protecting us.’ Mohktar’s voice was gentle. Nikki, did you think this man might come for you too?’