Richard Twittering again, Chris. (to Perkins) Carry on.

Perkins Sir.

Richard And briefly.

Perkins Briefly. You will maintain your position in line until you are summoned and then you will sit in an upright position in this seat. As Dr Gore announces each measurement, I will enter it into these cards, which are small enough to fit into the waistcoat pocket; and since the details of each specimen can be made by a single pencil mark, this admits of rapid and accurate use, particularly in difficult fieldwork conditions where –

Richard Perkins.

Perkins Sir. The instruments the doctor will use are as follows. Sliding rule. This for measuring your span or fathom. You will stand upright – thus – feet together, arms extended to full length. The measurement will then be taken from the tip of the middle finger of one hand, across the back, to the tip of the middle finger of the other hand.

Tommy Bejaysus, anybody can do that!

Christopher Please, Thomas.

Tommy Sorry, Major.

Perkins You will then sit upright in that chair. Chesterman’s steel tape. This for ascertaining the horizontal circumferential of the head – or cranium. This measurement must be taken above the eyebrows to avoid distortion and round the top of both auricles – or ears. Dr Cunningham’s craniometer. This – as the name implies – for measuring the cranium, or head; specifically, cranial height and auriculo- and alveolar-radii. This particular craniometer is a modification of Mr Busk’s original craniometer and was manufactured for us by Mr Robinson of Grafton Street in Dublin, with whom you will be acquainted on your visits to –

Richard Perkins.

Perkins Sir. Flower’s anthropometer, known affectionately among ourselves as the Traveller’s Anthropometer.

Tommy Flower looks like a boy could do you an injury!

Perkins This is for all requisite measurements except the cranial circumference, which, as I have explained, is ascertained by our friend, Dr C.

Christopher (softly, to Margaret) We misjudged him – a prattling parrot.

Margaret Shhh.

Richard Please.

Perkins Dr Gore will also take note of the colour of each specimen’s eyes; the main classifications being light, medium and dark. These colours are then subdivided into all blue, bluish grey, light grey, dark brown, brownish grey, hazel, light hazel, hazel grey, hazel green, green –

Richard Perkins.

Perkins Sir. Hair will also be noted and classified as red, fair, brown, dark or black. Black hair – niger – hence nigrescence – includes not only jet-black but also that very intense brown which occurs in people who in childhood have very dark-brown hair which in the adult cannot be distinguished from coal black except in very good light.

Richard As today.

Perkins As indeed today, Sir. When everybody has been processed I will lead you to the yard at the rear of the house and there I will take a photograph, or image on chemical paper, of each specimen.

Tommy That’s what has me up here! The mammy thinks I’m beautiful!

Perkins This photograph is in lieu of payment and will be your personal trophy. It can be picked up here in The Lodge in three weeks’ time – if that is suitable for you, Mr Gore?