Richard Deformed by inbreeding, then.

David Clement is a friend of ours, Richard, and a friend of this house.

Richard Alcohol – or indeed ether – would account for the distended nostrils but not the protruding forehead. And you tell me he is a man of music?

David (gathering dishes) We’re all finished here, aren’t we?

Christopher Go ahead.

Richard Because very often when a specimen deviates from the physical norms of his tribe, some psychological peculiarity manifests itself, too. So a skill in music wouldn’t be all that unusual. Can’t have had any formal music training, our dominie, did he? Couldn’t have. Must be instinctive.

Christopher You did make that name up, didn’t you?

David What name?

Christopher Selberwhatever.

David No.

Christopher No? Remarkable.

Sally appears stage right.

Sally There are some people here, Mr Gore.

Christopher Where did you find them?

Sally Down at the gate. They were shy about coming up.

Christopher Well done, little Sally! Ask them to join us.

Sally exits right.

I did promise you, didn’t I? And only half an hour behind schedule.

Richard (wryly) Is that all?

Christopher (calling) Tell them we’re waiting on them. Splendid! Everything’s in hand.

Richard (to Perkins) Is everything in hand?

Perkins Shipshape, Sir.

Richard Put that instrument box on the table.

Christopher (quietly, to Richard) These are not sophisticated people, Dick. You will be considerate of them?

Richard You’re twittering, Chris.

Christopher And patient, if you would. They are my neighbours; this is my home.

Richard Neighbours – home – what’s this sudden delicacy?

Christopher But you will be –?

Richard I’m a scientist, not a nanny.

David If you need me, I’ll be in the stables.

Christopher Of course you’re needed. Why is he always running away?

But David has gone round the side of the house.

Sally enters right.

Sally Here they are, Mr Gore.

Christopher Excellent! Ask Margaret to join us. Tell her the coast’s clear – her father has left. I know she’s going to enjoy this. We all are. Aren’t we, cousin?

Quick black.

Act Two

The action continues.

Three people enter right, slowly and cautiously, one behind the other: Mary Sweeney, middle-aged, very shabbily dressed, frantic, close to despair; Tommy Boyle, about fourteen, barefoot, scampish and altogether irrespressible; and Maisie McLaughlin, about eleven, very shy and very nervous. This environment is strange to them. They enter in a shuffling line. Only Tommy is uninhibited.

Christopher There we are! Welcome! Welcome! Thank you kindly for coming. I do know I’ve thrown your routine into disarray and I do apologise. And I am most grateful. Of course I know the faces. But the names, I’m afraid, some of the names … Never mind! It will all come back presently. (to Mary) And how are you, my dear?

Mary I need the money, Sir, because I’ve –

Christopher And you are …?

Mary Mary Sweeney, Sir.

Christopher Very good of you to come, Mary.

Mary Sir, I need the money for food for my –