Piotr could barely breathe as he watched her; it was such a personal moment he was being invited to share. She’d been angry with him for days but now, was this forgiveness? They were so close to one another, literally, that with her standing at the basin there was no room for him to climb down from the bunk. He could see every goose bump, notice details of her body that he hadn’t before. She washed under her arms as best she could, sloshing the soap away before giving up and wiping the soapsuds off with the towel. Her armpits were slightly hairy with four days’ growth by then, the same as was on his chin. She washed over and under her breasts, behind her ears, using palmfuls of water she splashed between her legs, soaped, and rinsed. She wiped the fine trails of water from the inside of her thighs. She flexed her bare toes on the thin blue mat under the basin. Combed through her hair with her fingers and, once she was dressed, curled her legs up onto the lower bunk bed to give him space to get down.

She lay back while he undressed in turn and as he stood naked in front of her, close enough to touch – though she didn’t reach out a hand – he felt the kind of love that is not dependent on lust to last, and recognised it for what it was. Passing through the Gobi Desert they woke with the sunrise, and he intertwined his legs with hers and asked if she’d consider having a child with him, one day, because there was nothing more beautiful or intimate that he could imagine.

Eva opened the door.

She had a slight frown creasing her forehead, like she was concentrating intensely on something – he knew that look. She had ideas already. She had a plan. But he couldn’t help himself when he saw her standing there, he almost fell into her arms and held her in a hug that he knew he needed more than she did. He could smell her skin, feel the fine, soft hairs on her cheek where he allowed his face to brush against hers. The sound of her breath felt like home. Then she pulled away, stepped back, and he swallowed and nodded before she had to tell him that they were not close and they were not together, and that she would not be taking him back.

Chapter 10

HOLLY MADE A pot of tea and sandwiches: cheese and Marmite, butter and jam. They were Rosie’s favourites. She cut the crusts off, arranged them on a plate and put everything on a tray. The tray she carried upstairs. Her slippers almost slipped on the carpeted steps but she regained her balance without spilling a drop, and arrived outside Rosie’s bedroom door. She put down the food. She knocked.