She’s embarrassing herself, thought Danny. Doesn’t Xena see how obvious she’s being?

Then it occurred to him that high school girls, as a tribe, weren’t exactly subtle about who they liked and who they didn’t. Nobody was going to act like Jane in Pride and Prejudice, so nobody can tell whether they like the boy or not. Xena had decided to be in love with the guy who could take her anywhere in an instant, and so she didn’t care who knew it. In fact, being obvious about it might be her way of staking a claim so none of the other girls thought of trying for him.

“You really don’t know what mages are like,” Veevee said to Xena with exaggerated kindness. “That’s because Danny is the only one you’ve ever met, so you don’t understand. If you make an obvious offer to any other mage from one of the Families, they’ll jump your bones without a quibble. Then they’ll walk away, leaving whatever bastard they’ve conceived inside you.”

“I’m not offering anything,” said Xena. “I just care about him.”

“Tone it down, darling,” said Veevee. “You’re scaring the boy.”

“He’s not gay, you know,” said Xena. “He isn’t scared of me.”

Great, thought Danny. She knows that I’m sort of interested. How can it be so obvious?

“If he ever sleeps with somebody,” said Veevee, “he’ll doubtless get all conscience-stricken and marry the poor girl, and then where would you be? Stuck with a man who will come to hate you, one you can never be equal to in any way. The permanent magically retarded wife, always dragging him down. Is that how you want to spend your life, darling?”

“I get it now,” said Pat. “When you say ‘darling,’ you mean ‘idiot.’”

“I’m glad somebody speaks Catty-Bitch-ese around here,” said Veevee. “I’d hate to be the only one.”

“I don’t speak it,” said Pat, “but I understand it. I learned it in school.”

“Oh, don’t be modest,” said Veevee. “You speak it like a native.”

“Neither of you knows my mother,” said Hermia. “She could take you both to school.”

“So you’re one-upping each other about who’s the bitchiest?” asked Hal.

“It’s not a competition,” said Laurette.

“You just think you automatically win because you’ve got the biggest knockers,” said Xena.

“Does anybody really say ‘knockers’?” asked Laurette.

“You have to talk to your Family, Danny,” said Hermia.

“I know.”

“Tonight. Now. They’re going to hear about the terms you offered everybody else and if you haven’t talked to them, they’ll think they’re not getting a chance at a Great Gate. Then they really will be determined to kill you.”

“Oh, they’ve only been kidding around up to now?” asked Danny.