I check the news and there’s nothing about Yin that I don’t already know.

I put on some music, I take out my suitcase, I put on the crown I made for the photo shoot. I’m clearing out my schoolbag, old mandarins, tampons spilled out of their box, no less than seven chapsticks, and I find the piece of paper I pinched off Petra, her creepy list of Doctor Calm’s victims. Reading the list of the girls’ names, their ages, how long they were held for, has not gotten any better.

The words ‘Cold Crimes’ are written at the top of the paper, in my handwriting. I don’t even remember doing that, it’s scary the amount of things I must do on autopilot like those people who wake up and they’ve crashed their car into a tree without even realising.

I search the term on my laptop, and it transpires that Cold Crimes is a supremely ugly website for true crime enthusiasts and I don’t know why, but my heart starts beating fast immediately.

The front page is a hot mess—there are forum rules and information, lists of members and announcements, trending discussions, case folders, urgent cases, current legal trials and missing persons.

According to the sidebar there are currently 990 members online. At least half of them sound like conspiracy theorists and the other half sound like police trying not to sound like police.

I am sick to my stomach but I keep clicking, reading, clicking, reading.

Number one under ‘trending discussions’ is the brand new forum devoted to Doctor Calm.

When I open it there are threads upon threads about the police profile, various suspects, how the name Doctor Calm came about (according to Dtctv86 one of Doctor Calm’s victims cut her finger and he told her that he’s a doctor), summaries of supposed victims and linked cases and, at the bottom of the second page, the question: Why has Yin Mitchell not been returned???

I scroll through conspiracy theories about Yin’s father and the Chinese government, child brides, and a cover-up involving police at the highest level. The majority of people think that Yin must have figured out who Doctor Calm is, recognised his voice or accidentally seen his face, and when I read that, I can picture it. I can see Yin pulling at a mask, seeing the monster and dooming herself.

The forum seems to grow as I’m reading it, spawning more and more comments and information. There’s so much more available here than I’ve ever heard in the news reports.

BoardShorts77 suggests that Yin went willingly with a ‘much older boyfriend’.

Catsrfriendz thinks that Yin has been the victim of a global child-porn ring.

MaxwellSmarts provides a supposed map of the GPS positions for Yin’s phone on the night she was taken but then everyone piles on him for lying and he gets banned.