But I am vaguely hopeful that Steve could be the first of many. Or at least one or two. Not that the hordes will be beating a track to my door. But just the odd one would be nice. And if dating one happened to tie in with my parents’ anniversary party then that would be even better.

I think it might be pushy to try and book Steve in for that now though.

‘Sorry, just seen your texts, been in the shower. Rosie’

I have been in the shower. I’ve also been stomping around my place muttering under my breath and swearing quite a lot. And eating.

I am still not quite sure why Noah was so stroppy about Steve. I was so pissed off when I left the gym that I went into the supermarket, bought three pastries that were on offer and a pack of Pringles that wasn’t. I then binge watched Netflix and wished I had a cat to cuddle.

And screamed at my mobile phone every time it beeped with a message. That wasn’t from Steve.

I feel sick. Probably nerves because maybe Steve won’t text after all. He did say he’d text and confirm our date, so it probably isn’t going to happen. He must have got home and realised he’d made a mistake, or already had a girlfriend.

‘Forgiven me? Seeing you flirt made me feel possessive! N x’

‘I’m supposed to flirt, I thought that was the point, teacher? R x’

‘Full marks on that, A grade student. But maybe take it slow?’

I sigh, the texts had been going in the right direction, and now he has to say that.

‘Why can’t you just be pleased for me? I’ve been going slow all my life, I need to speed up before I die. And before the party.’

‘I am pleased for you. I’m sorry. I’m an idiot.’

‘Did your blonde brush you off?’

‘No, we’ve got a date on Friday.’

This is followed be a smiley face.

‘Hypocrite.’

There is a long pause between messages.

‘Ouch, but fair. Ignore me. N’

‘Impossible. R x’

‘True! I meant ignore what I said at the gym, not what I just said. I don’t take being ignored well, I’m a me-me-me type of person. N x’

I can’t help but notice that the kiss is back on his message.

I flick through programmes and wonder if I should watch The Good Place again for some tips on deception, and redemption, and ‘soulmates’. With Noah I’m not quite sure if he’s a bad guy pretending to be good, and this is all a joke. Or he’s actually the good guy he really seems to be, with double standards when it comes to relationships.

I’ve never been able to work out what Dad really is, so what chance do I stand with Noah? It’s not that I’m torn in two ways over my father, it’s like my brain is buzzing with a whole ant’s nest of conflicting messages. I mean, he’s my dad! When I was young, I believed with a capital P that he was perfect, that he’d always love me, that he would have been there if he could have been. Then the doubts started to creep in, the thoughts that if I could be better then I’d deserve him more.