‘That wasn’t supposed to be a compliment! I’m only taking your word for that, I’m not actually saying …’

‘You really need to polish up your chatting technique you know!’

‘I know!’

‘Okay, okay, so I’m, allegedly, brilliant at chatting up women, but I know what a guy like me is looking for.’

‘But I don’t want a guy like you!’ Shoot. I didn’t mean that to come out.

‘I think we need to talk about that at some stage. I’m getting a very negative vibe here.’ He frowns at me, wags his finger; he looks quite masterful. ‘But I know what any guy is after, all guys!’

‘Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.’ How do I tell him that I wanted somebody like Gabe? Sincere, funny, clever, serious. Or at least that is what I thought Gabe was, maybe I was wrong.

‘Oh no, no, stop right there, Rosie.’ He puts a stalling hand out, as though he thinks I’m about to make a dash for the bar door. ‘You’re not running out on me now. This is getting interesting. Come on, come on, show me.’

‘Show you what?’

‘This bloke. His profile. Go on, show me.’ He holds his hand out. Waiting.

‘No way.’ I grab my phone and hold it to my chest.

‘Rosie!’ His voice has a warning edge I wasn’t expecting.

‘Okay, just his profile.’ I open up the profile and put my hand protectively over his face, then scroll up. I don’t want any comments about his looks. ‘You can see what he says, that’s all. Not our messages!’

‘Oh my God, what a smooth twat.’ Noah chuckles, and downs what is left of his drink, then orders another round.

‘What do you mean?’ I look at the profile again. ‘He’s really nice!’

‘Nice eh?’ Noah purses his lips and shakes his head. I think he is trying not to laugh.

‘Well, okay maybe he’s not actually nice in real life. But he seems kind, funny, look he made a joke here.’ I jab at the phone and accidentally close the app, so put it down suddenly feeling tired and hopeless.

Noah pats my hand, as though he understands. Then hands me a glass of prosecco. ‘Drink up. Come on, things aren’t that bad!’ He’s not laughing at me now. Smiling, but not laughing.

‘Hey, Rosie. I am your man. I know exactly what we are going to do. I am going to give you lessons.’

‘Lessons?’

‘First date lessons. I’ll teach you how to seduce a man.’

I laugh, I can’t help it. Then I giggle. ‘You! Seduction lessons. Haha, that’s funny.’ I crease over, hands on knees, manage to stop laughing. Look up at him and it starts me off again. He grins.

‘I’m an expert at first dates, believe me. Total hero!’ He points at his own chest proudly, then raises an eyebrow. ‘And, I’m a man. I know exactly what men want.’

The way he says ‘exactly’ makes something inside me shimmy. It’s weird. And sexy.