‘He just more or less called me a slut,’ I say. Shown me up in front of Noah, in front of everybody listening. In fact, he used to do that when I was with Robbie. Little digs.

‘Well he had no right, you’re not, and even if you were, he shouldn’t do that! I’m sure your Noah put him in his place, didn’t he?’

‘Well he tried,’ I sigh, ‘and I told him to shut up.’

‘Oh Rosie.’ She hugs me again.

‘I didn’t want to … I hadn’t wanted to upset Dad, cause an atmosphere, you know.’

‘Oh, I know, that’s what he relies on!’

But why hadn’t I wanted to stand up to him, why, when I finally had somebody at my back who’d have looked after me?

It hits me. I’ve always felt a kind of comradery with Noah. We’ve been fighting together. Until for one moment I lapsed back into my old deeply ingrained habit of never standing up for myself and risk upsetting Dad.

I’ve let Noah down. I’ve let myself down.

‘Honestly the man is unbelievable.’ Mum shakes her head. ‘How he has the neck to do that, when all those girls are here! Heaven knows what he’ll call me then when he finds out about my new man!’ She giggles. ‘I am off for some fun with somebody much nicer!’

‘Where did you find this, er, man?’ Maybe I should have just come to Mum for help, rather than risking Noah’s attractions.

‘Don’t sound so surprised! I’m not completely over the hill. How old do you think I am? No, don’t say it!’

I am so glad Noah has gone otherwise he might be making a play for her. He thinks she’s cool, glam, wonderful – unlike her daughter. ‘Sure.’

‘I found him on a dating app! When I was at salsa.’

Since when was she at salsa? The other week it was rollerblading, now it’s sexy dancing. Who stole my real mother?

‘I got talking to this couple who found each other online; they gave me the details! Oh my God, it’s hilarious, you should see some of the men who sign up, they live in a complete fantasy world; honestly, how on earth they think any sane woman would be taken in! They must think we’re stupid!’ I inwardly cringe, at least I hope it’s inward. Maybe she’ll put my pink cheeks down to having too many cocktails. Which I undoubtedly have had. ‘You should try it, Rosie.’

Bea sniggers, so I shoot her the evil eye.

‘You’d be amazed at the interest I got and the number of men who were keen to help me with my judo.’

‘Mum, where are you finding time to do all this stuff?’ She gives me a blank look. ‘All the new hobbies.’

‘Oh that,’ she waves an airy hand, ‘well I don’t bother about your dad, and I’ve stopped washing and ironing his stuff, plus I’ve given up on cleaning the house.’ I glance round in alarm. ‘I get a cleaner in. I mean he can afford it. I don’t know why I didn’t do it earlier. I got to thinking about it, at yoga, all that lying about relaxing nonsense gives you plenty of time to think. I’m in my fifties still, not my bloody seventies, what am I doing wasting my life cleaning?’