I feel a bit queasy. Is this what it’s like when you take hallucinogenic drugs? Wow, that must be what happened last night. My drink was spiked, none of this is real.

Was I really just an entertaining plaything for him? A novelty.

‘But he couldn’t resist new shiny toys; he still can’t, and to be quite honest I’ve grown too old and wise. I haven’t got the time and patience to be running after him waving my travelling toy box.’ She sighs. ‘He thinks we’ll always just be here when he fancies coming back to us.’

‘But we will, won’t we?’ A note of alarm has crept into my voice. I can feel a shiver of fear in my throat. She’s not going to leave him, is she?

I’ve never thought about Dad this way, and I’m shocked that Mum does.

But maybe she’s right.

Maybe however hard I tried to be perfect, I’d still always only be the daughter he came back to see when it suited him. When it was convenient, and there was nothing more exciting on offer.

I feel ill. Is that all I ever have been, convenient?

Is he something worse than just a bit of a womaniser and cheat?

Does he deserve to have somebody as wonderful as Mum waiting for him?

‘Oh, course, Rosie,’ she says firmly. ‘I’m just knocking the safe walls down so that we can all see more clearly what’s what. I refuse to hide! You can only listen to the same old promises about changing so many times before you start to get immune to the sugary charm that they’re coated in. Now, that’s enough of that. It’s entirely up to you if you bring a boyfriend, though I would rather like you to fall in lust at least once.’

‘Mum!’

‘I let your father give me stress and frown lines I don’t deserve, but when we were younger, oh goodness the passion was worth anything. I’d forgive him anything at that moment when—’

‘Lalala, hands over ears, can’t hear you!’

She laughs. ‘You’re a funny girl at times! I was about to say when he looked into my eyes and I felt like I was the most important thing in the world to him. I want that feeling again, Rosie.’ Her voice softens. ‘There’s no better feeling than being loved, than being somebody’s entire world, not just a small square-shaped hole they’d like me to wait quietly in. You’ll know when you get it.’

‘I—’

‘I’m not being nasty, Rosie, but your Robbie wasn’t that. He was a nice enough boy, but you’re not really bothered he’s gone, are you?’ She doesn’t wait for an answer. ‘Now, I am arranging this party because I want a good party. I like the excuse to dress up and dance, but I am also not going to pretend these flings don’t exist, so if you can track Serena down for me that would be wonderful. I’m sure you can find her on the internet quicker than I can. Are you going to tell me why you’ve got a hangover?’