Kael’s attention was all over the kitchen. His eyes were a bit robotic, scanning every detail of the room. It was like he wanted to be present, but his mind was wandering back and forth between here and somewhere else. I tried to guess where, and even considered straight-up asking him, but the idea made my heart pound.

“I’ll take a beer,” Kael said, after I downed half my drink.

I handed him a can from the bin in front of me, next to the partition between the living room and kitchen. Shelves full of eight-by-tens of my dad and Estelle, and me and Austin when we were young, stared back at us. My mom had long since been erased from the record.

Kael studied the beer for a moment, rolling it in his hand before popping open the tab.

“Natural Light, huh?” He raised his brows. They were so thick they shaded his deep-set eyes and helped hide him from the world. Like he needed help with that.

“Yep. The best of the best.” I took a gulp of my vodka mixture. I felt it fast, my cheeks and tummy warming up.

Kael took a drink of the watery beer. I lifted my cup to touch his can. “Happy birthday! You’ll be drinking legally in about three hours,” I joked.

“And you in a month,” he said, taking a swig of the beer and making a face. I didn’t blame him. I much preferred vodka over heavy bubbles of beer. It was my go-to when I drank. Drink less, feel more.

Another plus with vodka: I knew exactly how much to drink before I would get too drunk. I’d pretty much mastered vodka. I’d been drinking it since Austin and I had gone to that seniors-only party back in Texas.

Austin and I were probably the only freshmen there. We scanned the place when we arrived, but it didn’t take long until Casey, a preppy seventeen-year-old, made a beeline for Austin. She was one of the popular seniors. Popular. I hated that word. Austin didn’t, though. He knew it was his way in. The moment he complimented Casey’s eyelashes—it was something lame, like, “You have the longest eyelashes”—well, that was it. Five minutes later, they were tongue to tongue, and I was left to wander the party by myself.