Not today. I didn’t feel any resentment as I twirled and pinched my cheeks to see if that viral video actually works. The color doesn’t last more than thirty seconds, so I swooshed on a little bit of the blush that Elodie gave me. I hadn’t bought my own makeup for months. I had priorities, and makeup couldn’t be one of them right now so I lived through Elodie’s hand-me-down, nearly finished makeup. No complaints—she always has great brands. I look at my face one more time, adding a quick layer of mascara and a lip stain. I look pretty rested for a girl who’d slept at the kitchen table half the night. I usually don’t have mornings like this, where I become best friends with my reflection. I should get better at that . . . at least I’m trying.

When I walked out of my bedroom, I was fastening my sandals around my ankles. The heaviness of the platform made it harder to put on while moving down the hallway, but I managed by leaning against the wall. Kael was in the kitchen, sitting at the table, on his phone. He was dressed in his uniform again. Not shirtless, not jacketless, as he was last night, in the dark moonlit room with lavish purple shadows bouncing from his chest, his cheeks . . . the way his face changed as he fell asleep in this little kitchen, and I stared at him until I finally fell asleep there too. I peered into the living room to see that Elodie was still sleeping. I really didn’t understand how she slept through everything. That must be so nice. I wish my brain would allow me the liberty of napping, sleeping in, or even just the minimum of sleeping an entire night without waking up more than twice.

Kael still hadn’t looked up from his phone, and I felt my roaring confidence plummet the more he scrolled. He hadn’t yet seen me put an effort into my appearance, and for some reason, I wanted him to notice. I cleared my throat, lightly stomping my heavy sandals against the hard kitchen floor. His eyes darted up, looking at my face first, then my neck, particularly the little beaded necklace there. He looked at it intensely enough to see the K charm dangling from it.

It felt as if his eyes were studying each single bead, then he moved to the straps on my shoulders. My hand moved up to twirl the beads around, letting myself enjoy this moment. My body slowly filled with confidence again as he quickly moved his eyes to my thighs and back to my eyeline. If I was imagining all this, why did his breathing change? It felt primal, like there was a little hint of something he couldn’t control . . . . It made me feel high.