“Dinner will be here in five minutes, if you want to wash up,” he mumbled.

“You don’t have to talk to me like I’m twelve,” I said and rolled my eyes. I wasn’t completely sure why, but I felt slighted and moody.

“Madam, your dinner will be delivered in precisely three hundred seconds.”

I cackled, a real laugh, suddenly back to being amused. This thing with him was exhausting but exhilarating.

He grabbed the pillow from my lap and I kicked my leg out at him. He suddenly tossed the pillow back at me and used his hand to push it down a little across my crotch area. Oh my god! His eyes were on mine and I squeezed the pillow, shoving it tightly between my legs, now remembering why I had it in the first place. Kael’s cheeks were a bit more red than usual. Or was I imagining that his embarrassment matched my own?

Both of our backs were against the couch and we sat facing forward with our legs in front of us. Mine were crossed at the ankles and I still had the pillow on my lap. I couldn’t catch up with my breath, even though we had barely moved. I turned my head. I just had to look at him, to try to make some sense of what we were doing.

His chest was rising and falling the way mine was. This wasn’t exactly what friends did. We were crossing the line like we did last night when he kissed me. Why stop now?

“What?” I looked into his eyes, not sure what I was asking.

“What?” he repeated, shifting again, so his face was inches from mine.

Him kissing me or not was no longer the thing I feared, it was this different type of intimacy, this comfort. I tried to calm my heart and my head. No matter how good it felt to be with Kael—how much I wanted this right now—I knew it was never, ever going to work. He was leaving and I wasn’t ready to date anyone, especially a long-distance soldier who I barely knew. We had an arrangement. An agreement.

“I . . .” We both spoke the same exact word at the same exact time.

Kael’s expression looked like he was sizing me up, deciding what he was going to do based on what he thought I was going to do. All logic was gone as his tongue grazed over his bottom lip, making it shine under the light. I wanted to taste him again; it was all my mind was full of.

I tried to be logical even though it felt impossible.

“Do you think this is a good idea? What we’re doing right now?” I could barely get the words out through my deep breaths.

“It feels like it is.”

“But do you think it is? What will happen if we kiss again?”