“I mean, you don’t have to stay here. You can use my car, or an Uber. Whatever. I was just suggesting because I’m obviously not driving, and your car—” Kael leaned toward me. I had to work hard to catch my breath.

“I’ll get another beer,” he told me in a whisper. He paused there, so close to my mouth, that the bottom of my stomach ached.

He moved away, casually, and grabbed for another beer. I swallowed, blinking.

Did I think he was going to kiss me?

I so did.

That had to be why I was breathing like I had run up a flight of stairs.

I gathered myself as quickly as I could.

“Uh, yeah. Me too,” I said, voice hoarse and audibly awkward. I pulled open the freezer door to grab some ice. The cold air felt so good against my hot face. I let it roll over me for a few seconds before I filled up my cup.

Kael was waiting for me by the wall, sipping his new beer. My insides wouldn’t settle. Gah, he made me feel on edge one second, yet so calm the next.

We were both quiet as we walked into the living room. There seemed to be the same number of people in the house—minus the two assholes—but the crowd felt dense now that everyone was crammed into the living room. It didn’t help that my heart was pounding in its cage, no matter how hard I tried to calm myself.

Austin was talking to the pizza delivery man. I watched as he handed over some cash, shoving a wad back into his pocket. As far as I knew, Austin had been working only a few hours a week at Kmart, which he supplemented by asking my dad for money here and there. My brother was never good with money. Even when he worked summer jobs, he’d spend his check the day he got it. I wasn’t much better, so I wasn’t judging, but where did that cash come from? It didn’t make sense.

“Kare! Grab some plates?” Austin yelled to me, passing out pizza boxes to the group.

I didn’t know what was going on, but my brain couldn’t handle any more tonight. I wanted to have fun, to not worry about things that I couldn’t control. I had been trying that for years—maybe tonight would be the night that I actually followed through with it?

Black jeans were a girl’s best friend. They stood out from the usual indigo. They made your legs look longer. And that dark wash was great when you were out on a date and needed to do something about greasy pizza fingers. Not that I was on a date. Was I on a date?