Pressure releases in my chest and confusion takes its place. “I don’t get it… You didn’t show up and you wouldn’t answer your phone… I thought you…” I have to battle to stay composed because it’s one of my biggest fears: that she’ll run and leave me. It’s probably pathetic, but I can’t help it. I don’t need anyone else bailing out on my life, especially not Ella.

“I’m so sorry, Micha,” she utters with wide eyes. “But I couldn’t talk to you until I thought of the right thing to say.”

“Talk to me about what?” My voice cracks with fear and I clear it.

“Talk to you about the wedding.” She looks around like she’s hunting for an escape route, but ultimately her eyes land back on me. “I talked to your mom the other day—she called me asking if I knew anything that you wanted for your birthday, and she also wanted to know if we were coming home for Christmas.”

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. “Okay, that’s nice I guess… but what does that have to do with skipping out on our wedding?”

She gives a disheartened sigh. “She asked if we’d set a date yet for the wedding yet. I didn’t know you hadn’t told her we were just going to get married here, without anyone.”

My fingers stiffen on her cheek. “Did you tell her we were?”

“You know I’m a pro at lying.”

I snort a laugh. “Not really, but we can pretend for now.”

She shakes her head, her lips twitching to smile. “Stop making jokes. I’m trying to be genuinely serious and honest right now.”

“You… serious and honest?” I question with doubt, grinning amusedly at her. “Really?”

“I know. It’s weird.” She pauses, her chest nearly busting out of the top of her dress with each ragged breath. “I think…” She shifts her body, tucking her legs underneath her as she gets to her knees. “It’s just that…” Her eyelashes flutter as she stares at the sunlight through the window. “I don’t even know how to say this,” she mutters.

I scoot forward on the bed, shoving the bulky material of her dress out of the way and getting close to her. “Pretty girl, whatever it is, you can say it. You can say anything to me. You know that.” I just hope to God it’s not what I’m thinking. That she’s changed her mind. That she doesn’t want to get married.

She tilts her head and our gazes meet. “I know, but it doesn’t make it easier for me to say it. You know it’s hard for me to say how I’m feeling.”