I go to the back door and check out the grassy yard and deck, but both are empty. My hope is dissipating as I walk past the empty bathroom and into our bedroom, pressure in my chest building at the thought that she’s gone. She left me. Shit. But when I push the door open, I jump back, shocked by the sight of her. She’s sitting on the bed, overwhelmingly gorgeous in a white-and-black wedding dress, her legs pulled up to her chest, her chin resting on her knees, her auburn hair pinned up in tangled curls. The bottom of the dress is pulled up over her feet, revealing that she’s wearing black combat boots, not heels like a lot of girls would. It almost makes me smile because I couldn’t picture her looking more perfect and more like herself if I tried.

But when she looks up at me, her big green eyes filled with so much sadness, it rips the approaching smile off my face. I don’t say anything as I make my way to the unmade bed, maneuvering over the pile of discarded clothes, sketchings, and my guitar, and then I sit down beside her. Reaching forward, I sweep strands of her auburn hair out of her eyes and tuck them behind her ear, then trace a line with my finger up and down her cheekbone. I wait for her to speak first, because I don’t know enough about what’s going on in her head to know what the right thing to say is.

We sit for what feels like forever, staring at each other, and the longer it goes on the more nervous I get about what she’s going to say when she finally does speak. I hear Ethan and Lila walk up to the door, talking under their breath, but the sounds of their voices quickly fade as they leave right away, like they sense that we need to be alone.

“I’m so sorry,” Ella says, finally breaking the silence. She lets out a deep sigh as she peers up at me through her eyelashes, biting her bottom lip.

I fight the urge to close my eyes against the sting in my heart. “What happened? I thought…” I cup her cheek with my hand, telling my unsteady voice to shut the hell up. “I thought we both wanted this.”

Her bottom lip springs free as she releases it, and then she lifts her chin off her knees and sits up. “We did… I do… It’s just…” She releases a frustrated breath and flops her hands against the mattress.