‘I once asked a girl in a pub whether she preferred bras that went over the shoulder or around the back,’ said Nelson.

‘I took a guy to a funfair and threw up on his face while we were on the roller-coaster.’

‘I asked out a nun.’

‘I told a guy that he looked like Donald Trump Jr.’

‘Oh, that’s bad,’ said Nelson.

‘Tip of the iceberg,’ said Shane.

They remained silent for a few moments and then Shane leaned forward. ‘Listen,’ he said. ‘Assuming we both crash and burn at this, do you fancy a pint after? We could compare notes on our mutual disasters. I could do with a drink, if you could. And I’m off tomorrow so …’

Nelson thought about it and nodded. ‘Sure,’ he said. ‘That sounds good. It’s a date. I mean, not a date, but—’

‘I get it,’ said Shane, laughing and, before things could get any more awkward, the bell rang.

They moved on again and, over the next twenty minutes, Nelson chatted with a female wrestler, a card sharp and a man who twisted balloons into animals at children’s parties. Time was getting on and he could see that there was only one person left to talk to and, as the bell rang, a middle-aged man moved into place opposite him. He glanced back down the line and saw Shane talking to the water-sports enthusiast and hoped that he’d meant it when he said that he’d like to go for a drink. It wasn’t often that Nelson made new friends and he felt that they might get along well.

‘Looks like we’re stuck with each other,’ said the man, who seemed friendly enough, extending a hand. ‘My name’s Jeremy.’

‘Nelson,’ said Nelson.

‘Last of the night.’

‘So it would seem.’

‘I hope this isn’t a rude thing to say, I certainly don’t mean it to sound that way, but I happen to be straight.’

‘Oh,’ said Nelson. ‘That’s fine.’

‘I just didn’t want to give the wrong impression. Although it’s not like I’m much of a catch anyway.’

‘Oh, I don’t know about that,’ said Nelson, warming to the man’s obvious discomfort. ‘We’re all here for the same reason. That we find it hard to meet people.’

‘True.’

‘And have you been single for long?’

‘Since my wife died three years ago,’ said Jeremy. ‘It’s not been easy. She was a wonderful woman.’ He rotated the wedding ring on his finger. ‘It was my niece who suggested I try an evening like this. She looks out for me.’

‘She must be very kind.’

‘She is,’ said the man, smiling proudly. ‘It must be interesting being a policeman,’ he added after a moment.

‘It is, yes.’

‘Did you always want to be one?’

‘Not always, no,’ admitted Nelson, feeling a little guilty for deceiving the man. ‘Can I ask what you do?’

‘I’m a solicitor. I’m surprised to see a young lad like yourself in a place like this,’ said Jeremy. ‘I always assume young people just fall in and out of each other’s beds with gay abandon, as they say.’