I did not deserve a friend. I was ready to tell the truth. I closed my eyes, finally letting the memory play out as it had actually occurred.

“Can I tell you a story? Justine loved this story. But this time, I will tell it the way it really happened. I always lied to Justine. I wanted the world to be more beautiful for her. The world is ugly. Uglier now, without her. Anyhow. Here is my story:

“I needed Victor. I needed him to love me. So I climbed a tree and brought down a nest of robin eggs as blue as the sky. He picked up the first egg, holding it to the light of the sun. ‘Look. You can see the bird.’ He was right. The shell was translucent, and the silhouette of a curled-up chick was visible. ‘Like seeing the future,’ I said. But I was wrong. The future would be revealed in a few more moments.

“He lowered the egg and used his knife to crack it open. I cried out in shock, but he ignored me. He peeled back the egg, grimacing as liquid spilled out onto his hand. He never did like to get messy. Digging up the bodies must have been hard on him. That is probably why he choked little William. No blood.

“So Victor pulled the chick free. He let out a trembling breath, and I realized he was scared. He looked up at me—and because I did not want to lose this chance at a new life, I nodded for him to keep going. ‘I can feel its heart,’ he said. The chick shuddered and shivered and then went still. He peered at it, pulling its tiny claws, its wings that would never unfurl. ‘How did the egg keep it alive? And where did what made it alive go, I wonder, when its heart stopped? It was alive, and now it is just…a thing.’

“ ‘We are all just things,’ I answered, because I had never been more than that to the people who had raised me. Victor looked thoughtful. He held out the chick to me, as though I would want to hold that little piece of death.

“I took it. He watched me closely, so I acted as brave and curious as he had been. I acted as though we had not done a terrible thing. I said, ‘You should cut it open, see where its heart is. Maybe then you will know why it stopped.’

“Victor looked how I had felt when I discovered the nest: like he had found a treasure.”

I sighed, numb with the release of finally telling the rest of the story.