If I had been in full possession of my senses, I might have delayed our return. Lake Como was not a kind place for me. I had no happy memories there. My life had been hunger and pain and suffering. I had always viewed Victor as my savior for taking me away from it.

And now, to celebrate our official union, we were returning. Victor, at least, seemed soothed by our journey. His intense agitation and distraction dissipated. Each league no doubt filled him with relief as it put us safer from pursuit. Fish leapt from the water, keeping pace with the boat, and he laughed and pointed. But he saw that I could not mirror his ease.

He took my hand. “You are sorrowful. If you knew what I have suffered and what I may yet endure, you would endeavor to let me taste the quiet and freedom from despair that this one day, at least, permits me to enjoy.”

I did know! I knew full well. He was the one in the dark, both about my knowledge and about the ancient childhood anxieties this trip dredged up.

Still, I would not forget that he had never known, never cared, about my wealth. And he had stepped in to prevent his father from seizing it before I could gather my wits and explore my options for keeping it from him.

It was not that I did not want to help the Frankensteins.

It was that…

No, perhaps it was that. Madame Frankenstein, with her tepid, conditional kindness, was dead. William, beautiful child, also gone. Ernest would find his own way in the world, never counting on an inheritance as a second son. And Victor was mine, regardless of his family fortunes.

I had known so much strain growing up, constantly fearing that if I failed, I would once again be set out in the world with nothing of my own. And Judge Frankenstein, knowing otherwise, had never offered me comfort or assurance, preferring me to think myself entirely indebted to his generosity. Even this marriage, which could have been delayed until I was at least eighteen, had been presented to me as my best option, when he knew full well that at twenty-one I would have the funds to be independent.

I closed my eyes, trying to sort through my feelings. What life would I have chosen, had I known?

But it was an exercise in madness. I had never known. I had demanded the swift marriage myself as a trap. And now binding me to Victor were not only a life and love, but the terrible secret of his monster. I had not chosen this life, but I would stay true to those in it who had chosen me. I would stay true to Victor. I would stay true to the memory of Justine.

I opened my eyes and smiled weakly at Victor. It was enough to assuage him, and he returned to admiring the landscape.