“And Tiny Tim is dead!” came a cross voice behind them. Pippa was folding her arms, still not happy.

“He’s not dead.”

“There’s an empty chair and the pig is crying!”

“Also, why are some of them frogs and some of them pigs?” said Jack earnestly. “Is that what happens if your mother is a pig and your father is a frog?”

“Yes,” said Carmen wearily. “All the girls will be pigs and all the boys will be frogs.”

“Come, let’s get you a drink,” said Skylar to Blair. “Ooh, you brought Champagne! So naughty drinking on a school night.”

“It gets happier in the end,” Carmen was saying to the children as Skylar led Blair to the kitchen. “It’s fine! It all ends up fine.”

“But Tiny Tim is dead and they’re in a graveyard,” explained Pippa.

“With a monster,” wobbled Phoebe.

“It’s all lovely and happy at the end, I promise,” said Carmen desperately.

“You’re developing quite the knack for terrifying children,” said Sofia over her shoulder, following Skylar and Blair through to the kitchen, where the delicious aroma of lasagna, as well as the freshly heated blinis, made everything seem amazing. Carmen stood up to follow them.

“Auntie Carmen,” said Pippa, “I think it would be the best thing if you came to watch the end of the film with us.”

“What?” said Carmen.

“So Phoebe isn’t tramat-at-ized.”

“I’m not traumata-taized!” came a wailing voice.

Carmen sighed. “Maybe I’ll just grab a glass of Champagne to take—”

“No—now!”

“So,” she could hear Skylar saying, as they sat around the comfortable kitchen table, “I try and follow a very spiritual path myself? But I’m always doubting myself, you know? I just wondered if you could give me any advice.”

Carmen would have snorted, seeing as she didn’t think Skylar had doubted herself for a second in her life, plus she could see Blair settling back with the look on his face of a man who absolutely just adored being asked for advice, and inwardly sighed.

A little paw grabbed hers, and she looked down at Phoebe’s wide brown eyes, so like hers.

“Are you sure the baby frog doesn’t die?” came the little voice.

“I absolutely promise,” said Carmen, and grabbed Phoebe and sat down with the little one on her lap, and Pippa and Jack on either side.

In fact, she had forgotten how good and serious Michael Caine was in it and how funny Gonzo and the rat were, and she laughed in an over-the-top way every time the rat fell over to show Phoebe it was all right and there was nothing to be scared of.

And then, as the look of fear came over Scrooge’s eyes and he decided to change his terrible ways—how the screen erupted with songs and skating and penguins for some reason, and every Muppet danced for joy.