and at that moment, her hand reached out

and grabbed my wrist, like she was grabbing for help.

It’s not easy for me to believe there is a Hell.

And it doesn’t make me feel good.

In fact, it hurts, because I know,

every day,

that I will never see my mother again,

and if I do, it will be me, high above her,

looking down,

seeing her suffer

for the rest of eternity.

An’ I wonder sometimes—Pastor Paul—if my Heaven

will be a kind of Hell.

PASTOR

…

ASSOCIATE

so just

show me.

PASTOR

…

ASSOCIATE

Show me.

Show me.

Show me that there is no Hell, show me,

don’t play word games with the Bible, show me and

and

and I’ll come back to this church, not as a head pastor

but as your associate, and I’ll support

you and your message, just show me that what I saw I didn’t see, because when my mother died, I did—I saw it—

I saw it, I felt it, I saw firsthand

what Hell looks like,

and nothing can take that away from me, so

what business do I have

preaching the possibility that it doesn’t exist.

I’d be leading hundreds,

thousands,

into hell

while setting aside for myself something even worse

for bein some kinda

false shepherd.

PASTOR

…

ASSOCIATE

…

PASTOR

I can’t show you the absence of something.

ASSOCIATE

well then,

there we have it

PASTOR

(To the audience.)

he says,

ASSOCIATE

I’m not accepting the offer

PASTOR

he says,

ASSOCIATE

the elders will have to find someone else to take your job

PASTOR

he says,

ASSOCIATE

I’ve got my own church now

PASTOR

(To ASSOCIATE.)

I hear it’s doing really well

ASSOCIATE

we hold services in a

YMCA

PASTOR

the one off of

ASSOCIATE

17

PASTOR

not a bad spot.

ASSOCIATE

The bathroom situation could be better,

and the microphones they’ve got there

tend to give a lot of feedback.

But I make it work

PASTOR

I bet you do

ASSOCIATE

I tend to just use my own voice instead.

It carries.

I’m praying for you, brother.

(Exit ASSOCIATE.)

(And then …)

PASTOR

fewer people in church this week than the last,

this year fewer

and next year even fewer.

I wonder

I wonder

might be a time,

when

there are no more Christians.

And will people believe what we believe

100

1,000

10,000 years from now?

Many religions have died.

now—why do I believe what I believe

I believe what I believe because I know it is true—but why do I know it’s true?—it’s a feeling. And where did that feeling come from?—God. God put it there—but how do I know it’s God that put it there?—I know it’s God because I believe God is there—but how do I know God is there? because there’s a feeling he put inside of me—but