He laughs and responds, “That would be awesome if I don’t cut it first. I’m kind of tired of all this hair. It’s a lot of work to maintain.”

“No!” I yell suddenly and unexpectedly. “I mean… it just looks great on you. Don’t cut it!”

He smiles bashfully. “Well, your hair is pretty cool too,” he says.

I can’t receive any part of this compliment because I know he must be lying. My hair looks awful all the time. I can’t get a relaxer here regularly, which means it’s straight on the ends and nappy at the root. I mainly keep it slicked down into a ponytail so the coarseness is less visible. I felt ugly in high school, but I feel like Igor on campus among these fairy-tale white people and their socially accepted beauty.

After we finally get our ice cream, we walk around taking in the fall evening. I feel so good walking next to Bryce. The world seems so much more beautiful with an attractive man by your side. Maybe this means I won’t have to keep fighting all my battles alone.

We stop briefly in front of the wooden structure that will burn during homecoming five days after midterms.

“Out of all the things they could build, why would they build this? A giant joker in a palace. He should be in a dungeon where he belongs.… Look at him mocking us with his capricious smile. I never liked the symbology of that dreadful character. It haunts me even now.”

“Me neither,” Bryce replies. “Reminds me of Darth Vader, dark forces.”

“Right?! I knew I couldn’t be the only one who sees it.”

We continue walking and find a bench just off campus.

“So how was the hiking trip?” he asks curiously.

I tell him everything. The words spill from my mouth so quickly, some of them are out of order. I’m not sure if I’m uttering complete sentences, but Bryce seems to be following along. He shakes his head affirmatively as I recount.

“I knew it,” he responds. “I told you it’s one of the most amazing parts of the entire college experience.”

“Fine, you were right again,” I say, attempting to flirt. He winks at me, which makes me think he is flirting back. Again I wonder, Was that dream a premonition? I start freaking out, pondering what to do next. I soften and try to bat my eyes like they do in romantic comedies. I cringe at myself and decide to stop. I climb back into my strength, my true nature, but try to relax more.