“Second, the United States has never operated on merit. It wasn’t merit that yielded white leaders across every professional and political field, it was violence and forced inequality. It was the massacre of Black Wall Street in Tulsa, Oklahoma, a thriving community of Black people who had built up wealth and prosperity amongst themselves despite the barriers. It was ‘Separate but Equal,’ which legalized racial disparity in access and opportunity. It was redlining in urban communities across the nation, systematically denying Black citizens access to resources. The result of those policies and practices granted tremendous privilege to white people. The call ‘for merit,’ in my opinion, is often used to further disenfranchise the disadvantaged by painting a present that conveniently erases key historical elements. It’s inaccurate and unjust. I really hope you come to understand that this is all more nuanced and complex than you are making it out to be.”

I want to applaud. I want to stand up and shout from the mountaintops the rightness of what this woman has said. A white lady professor that actually gets it?! Wait till I tell Earnell and Keli. I close my dictionary in quiet satisfaction. The class is silent. Just breathing bodies with no words. This is why I refuse to get a tutor. I can’t let Stephen, his conservative cronies, and Mr. Walsh win. I deserve to be here and am just as smart as them, even though I’m in remedial classes and have to use a dictionary to decode what is being discussed. They can’t be right. They can’t win again. I have to figure this out on my own to prove that I’m so brilliant, I can catch up from generations behind. To prove that there are some people who can’t be stopped. No matter the injustice.

I am still brimming with joyful contentment remembering Professor Alexander-Grant’s speech as I make my way to the Servants of Jesus prayer group, which is my last affinity activity of the week. So far, I’ve been to events hosted by the Little Club of Africa, where we wore dashikis and ate traditional African food; the Victorian Tea Club, where we drank tea with our pinkies turned up; the Bitchy Feminist Reading Group, where we discussed works by Nikki Giovanni and Gloria Steinem; and a lunch thrown by Kappa Gamma. I have no interest in joining a sorority, but I went for the free food.