I try to find strength. I recite a few Bible verses in my head, attempting to conjure my mother’s presence or the Keepers, but it doesn’t work. I feel dead inside and totally alone until I hear Shaquanda say, I have always loved you. Since you were a little girl. I remember how you shined, the luminosity of your being. You still shine, even now, after everything that happened to you. Nobody can take your light from you. The Defiance, sitting behind me like proud parents. Shaquanda, softer than I’ve ever seen her. I didn’t know she could be this gentle. Yea, and I said this girl is something special, you feel me? This girl right here got a special purpose, Damon says. How the heavens rippled, hah, with your arrival, hah, Terrell chimes in. How existence itself bowed to your majesty.

I blush. A wave of airy elation washes over me. I feel full, enlivened. You ready to meet your true essence? Shaquanda asks. She puts her hands on my shoulders. Terrell and Damon both place supportive palms on my back. I take a deep breath and look into the mirror.

A me unlike any me I’ve ever seen. My higher self, who is wise even when I’m not. The best possible version of me buried beneath all the shit. Stunning. Glowing. Ethereal, with otherworldly beauty. My energy looks perfectly balanced: femininity, power, and softness all integrated. The inner turmoil that has driven my life, quieted.

She uncurls, my reflection, and smiles so lovingly I can barely behold her compassion. She raises her right hand and folds her fingers into Gyan Mudra. Finally, she speaks. “Holy are you and all who live. Part of the path is forgetting. I am your home. Only self-love can save you. Come as often as you need to be reminded. The heart knows the way.” She returns to her celestial position. The Defiance clap gleefully behind me. They play “At Last,” by Etta James, to commemorate the moment. I mumble along with them: “At last, my love has come along… and life is like a song.”

I am not the only one singing. Several other students hum, some dance, and two shed tears. A few participants seem to be unmoved and unchanged, glaring around the room at an awakening they don’t share. Maybe next time, I wish for them. Still, the shift in energy across the room as a whole is dramatic and overwhelming.

“Yes!” Professor Nielson cries out joyfully. “Embrace yourself! Sing, dance, twirl. You have found the fountain of life… at last.”

True homecomings are like this. A joyful reunion with what was in you all along. The path back may be muddied and overgrown with weeds, but have faith that your heart, like the camel in the desert, will never lead you astray. A Jedi’s greatest asset then is not magic but self-love.