That night, which I’d been so dreading, I managed to drop off for an hour or so. The rest of the time, I worked on the presentation. When I’m on my computer, I go into a kind of trance and am oblivious to everything around me.

That was exactly what I needed. Numb my mind by working flat out so as to avoid thinking about Louis.

4

O Captain! My Captain!

‘For fuck’s sake, Thelma, what the hell were you up to? I called you fifty times it’s totally unprofessional you could at least have called me back, fuck it, the stress you cause me I hope you’ve made all the changes to the presentation otherwise we’re in for a bollocking and don’t you think I’m going to back you up, baby.’

A breath. The first.

‘Love you too, JP. Hello, by the way.’

‘Go on, take the piss. Don’t you feel bad. For fuck’s sake. Lucky I worship you and would do anything for you.’

The guy always says everything and its opposite in the same breath. It drives me insane. All the kids at the office come out of meetings with him completely freaked out, not knowing how to respond to his aggressive injunctions. Having read up on the subject, I’m convinced that JP is a narcissistic pervert. The sort to confuse his victims with his convoluted demands and congratulate them for completing a task while pointing out to them what total losers they are.

‘Here, this is the final version of the presentation,’ I said, handing him a USB stick.

‘I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night because of you. You’re paid enough not to go AWOL at the weekend when we’re seeing the big boss on the Monday. Is that clear?’

‘Crystal clear, JP. I won’t do it again. Promise.’

Simpering, sidelong glances, the ploys of a little girl, both apologetic and proud – nothing more effective than beating a pervert at his own game and confounding him with attitudes that are in total contradiction to the tone of the words.

JP whizzed through the presentation and gave me a huge smile. I’d done a good job, I knew it. He had no criticisms.

‘Well done, miss. You’re a pain, but you’re good. When I say “good”, I mean your skills, of course. Between you and me, you’re past your sell-by date, as far as I’m concerned, ha ha. I’m joking, you know I fancy you, you’re the prettiest MILF I know. Right, enough messing around, the boss is waiting. Get your knickers off, we’re going to have some fun, ha ha.’