I only understood this later, in adulthood, partially due to my therapist’s help. My mother thought I was too attached to Vili. She wanted me to be the best, the most successful, the most confident. In her view, life was an ice-­cold forest, and children were wolves in it; they think they form a pack, but at the end of the day they will all aim for the same job, same house, same female. Emotional over­reliance on the false sense of security bestowed by a plush toy weakens one’s character in the long term, and the weak fall prey to wolves.

We were sitting in the kitchen – two cups of tea steaming on the table, one for her and one for me. Chamomile, to this day I feel sick at the smell of it, but my mother hoped the tea would soften the emotional impact. She didn’t make any tea for Vili, from which I deduced that something terrible must be coming.

My mother looked at me, very seriously, as seriously as when I broke something expensive or ran out in the road chasing my ball. In hindsight, and I told this to my therapist as well, I suppose that in those very seconds, before articulating those words, she was thinking of my grandmother, her mother. I’m going to be straight with you, she said. There’s something wrong with Vili. Vili is sick, and sadly the odds are against him.

She went on. Unfortunately, even plush toys can get sick. Maybe it’s genetic, the illness might remain latent for years before it manifests. Vili was manufactured in China, and it’s very easy to catch all sorts of nasty diseases in those factories. Vili has been examined by doctors, and the prognosis is clear as day: Vili is going to die.

I looked at Vili, who was lying on the marble kitchen table resting his friendly eyes on us, and only then did I become aware of Vili’s inherent nudity, which made my heart ache. I wanted to cover his little body to protect him from the coldness of the world. I grabbed Vili and squeezed him against my chest. As I glanced at my mother, I could just catch a smile on her face. You look so nice together, she said. I wish I could always remember you like this.

Vili has two months left, she continued. Take care of all his needs in the time remaining. The most important thing is to make sure Vili lives out his final days in dignity. Drink up your tea, my mother said finally, and she wouldn’t let me go to my room until I finished my tea to the last drop. That was the last time I drank chamomile tea in my life.