The handle of the frying pan broke. Bartrum howled in pain and collapsed on to the sofa. The vibration of the impact must have hurt his already-damaged hand. And even I gave a sort of grunt of discomfort. Of course the frying pan hadn’t actually hurt my diamond-hard head, but it made a very loud clanging noise, and the blow reverberated in my skull and made me feel dizzy.

What could you do with a person like this? He was an out-and-out psycho. There was no way I could persuade him to mend his ways, unless . . .

Of course. Unless.

‘I wish you’d be nice to your son and partner, OK?’

‘OK,’ said Bartrum mildly.

‘I wish you’d give them money when they need it, OK?’

‘OK.’

There was a bit of a silence. Mission accomplished, I realized.

‘Well, I’ll be off then.’

‘Sure you won’t stay for tea?’

‘Nah, got a few things to do.’

And I wished myself back in my bedroom.

Then I realized that my digestive system was actually feeling a bit cheated, so I wished for a nice cup of tea and a plate of Hobnobs.

Chapter Nine

CHAPTER NINE

As I drank the tea and ate the Hobnobs while sitting on my bed, I pondered on being a superhero. There was something pointless about it when you had a million wishes at your disposal. Or almost a million, whatever it was. I’d solved the Bartrum problem just by wishing he’d be nice. I didn’t need to go and confront the man. I could have done it sitting in my bedroom. I didn’t need the costume, didn’t need to be able to fly. Nor did I need the cheetah-like running speed or the stretchy arms and legs. I didn’t need any of it.

I wished I didn’t have the costume any more. It was a silly costume anyway. And I wished away the super-powers too. Because they were pointless as well. Flying had been fun for a while, but I didn’t need it. Why fly anywhere? I could just wish I was already there. It was a pity, maybe, that I’d never got to use my burrowing powers. But again, what was the point of them? If I ever needed to get anything that was buried underground I could just wish it was above ground, not go squirming down after it like a giant mole.

My phone went off.

‘Hi Evan.’

‘Was that you who closed the school down today?’

‘Yeah, I did that.’

‘Cool. What you doing today then?’

‘Dunno. Wanna come over?’

‘Yeah, sure.’

‘Hold tight then. I wish Evan was here.’

He materialized in the middle of the bedroom, and his eyes immediately landed on the plate of chocolate Hobnobs. ‘Oh, good, can I have one?’

‘Yeah, get stuck in.’