All morning I was waiting for Scorpus to make his move, but somehow or other our paths didn’t seem to cross. Obviously I could’ve just wished he’d come and find me, but I didn’t quite want to do that. It didn’t seem sporting, somehow, if you know what I mean. I wanted it to happen, like, naturally.

Anyway, the morning’s lessons were fun, because they were so easy. Like in French – I’d never done French before, except for learning Frère Jacques in primary school, but I wished I spoke it perfectly, and astonished Miss Gravely by asking her, in perfect French, where she’d spent her summer holiday and if she’d enjoyed it and was it the first time she’d been to Greece, and what did she think of the economic situation there, and did she agree that very hot weather was nice provided it wasn’t too humid? Evan and the whole class just sort of goggled at me.

‘How did you learn to speak French like that?’ Evan said.

‘Magic.’

It wasn’t till lunchtime that Scorpus tracked us down. I was in the locker rooms with Evan, playing Wild Animals Top Trumps, but it wasn’t much of a contest because I’d wished I knew what all his cards were. I’d just beaten his alligator (20 m.p.h.) with my hare (45 m.p.h.) when Vanida Mookjai came running in and squealed, ‘Quick! Run! Scorpus is on his way!’

‘Oh good,’ I said. ‘I’ve been wondering when he’d show up.’

‘Let’s get out of here!’ said Evan.

‘If you leave now,’ I said, ‘you’ll miss all the fun.’

Anyway, there wasn’t time to go anywhere, because the next moment Scorpus came and stood in the doorway of the locker room, with his long shadow streaming ahead of him, all the way to the tips of my toes. Two of his mates stood behind him. And there were more kids crowding behind them, keen to see the entertainment.

‘Farter! Bogbrush! You’re dead.’

I just laughed.

As Scorpus walked towards me, I muttered under my breath, ‘I wish I was as strong as the Incredible Hulk, I mean as strong as he would be if he existed in real life.’

Immediately I felt a kind of awesome power flood my body. Like when you get an adrenalin rush, but twenty times more powerful. I felt like a volcano waiting to blow.

Scorpus reached out to grab me.

I smashed my fist into his body as hard as I could. I have to say the result wasn’t exactly what I’d expected.