Back The Big Question
Chapters (16)
  1. Cover
  2. Colophon Page
  3. ALSO BY CHUCK BARRIS
  4. Copyright
  5. Dedication
  6. Epigraph
  7. I
  8. II
  9. III
  10. IV
  11. V
  12. VI
  13. VII
  14. Author’s Note
  15. Acknowledgments
  16. About the Author

Arthur Durch spent a moment wondering why his mother would do such a thing. As soon as that moment passed, he canceled the battery of doctors constantly by Colin’s side and had his severely paralyzed brother moved out of the Trump Grosvenor House and into a crummy hospice in the Hell’s Kitchen section of New York City. Colin Durch died within a month from lack of proper care.

Three days after Mother Durch’s funeral, a crew of workers finished fumigating the dead woman’s duplex apartment and Arthur moved in. A week after that, he opened his sex therapy practice to the public.

And guess who was his first patient?

The snowstorm of ’96 was a record breaker.

The most snow ever.

The strongest winds ever.

The blizzard’s wind was so loud, John J. Sughrue had to put his mouth next to Vera Bundle’s ear to say, “I forget. What hotel did you say you were in?”

She shouted back, “I’m at the Baldwin, Mr. Sughrue.” Vera pronounced his name Sh-GA-ru. She made it sound Oriental.

“My name is pronounced Sh-GREW,” he said. “It’s an old Irish name. Where did you say the Baldwin was?”

“It’s on Eighth Avenue and Thirty-third Street.”

“You’ll never get down there,” said Sughrue. He had to speak so close to Vera’s ear that she could smell his after-shave cologne. It smelled good. “Not in this snowstorm. Come with me. I’m staying at the Sherry-Netherland hotel. When I heard the storm warnings on the radio I took a room at the Sherry for tonight. The Sherry-Netherland is just a few blocks down the street. We can walk. They know me there. I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to get you a room. Don’t worry. I’ll pay for it. You’ll pay me back.”

Vera Bundle could hardly keep her eyes off of John J. Sughrue’s face. He was so tall and handsome. She and her new acquaintance bucked the stiff wintry gusts and swirling snowflakes as they trudged several blocks east to the Sherry-Netherland hotel.

Inside, the hotel’s lobby was warm and comfy, just like the Essex House lobby. Vera shook the snow off her coat and hat and watched Sughrue check for messages, then walk over to the manager’s desk and speak with the man sitting there. Eventually Sughrue returned and told Vera he had gotten her a room. It was just for the night, he said.

Vera Bundle was ever so thankful.

Sughrue took Vera to the drugstore off the lobby to buy her a toothbrush and some toothpaste. Embarrassed and blushing, Vera told Sughrue that she needed something to sleep in. “I’m sure they don’t sell nightgowns in this drugstore,” she said, “but I can’t sleep in the…in the…”

“Please don’t worry about it, Vera. We’ll get something here.”

They did. Sughrue bought Vera Bundle an extra-large T-shirt that had I ? NEW YORK printed on it.