“I’m not so sure about that. They don’t give two hoots what I do. Or even if I’m still alive.”

“Now now, Theresa, that’s not completely true.”

“Pretty close.”

“Well, maybe. Anyway, what do you think? What a feather in your cap this would be. A real ego builder to pump up that gigantic ego you already have. So? Talk to me.”

Theresa Mendavey agreed to give her beloved aunt Evie Walton’s suggestion a whirl. She moved into their apartment’s spare bedroom (temporarily) and sent a letter off to Sarah Lawrence that afternoon requesting application forms. During the next few weeks Theresa was subjected to a vigorous battery of pre-entrance writing requirements. She passed the entrance requirements quickly and with flying colors.

After her first term, Theresa Mendavey received all A’s on her first report card. An editorial of Theresa’s ran in the Sarah Lawrence student newspaper, a rare occurrence for a first-year student. On probation, no less.

And then one day, close to the end of her first year, Theresa Mendavey walked off the Sarah Lawrence campus with a middle-aged, good-looking English professor named Curtis Bok and never returned.

Neither did the professor.

Attica prison had neither a shortage of library books concerning the Islamic religion nor Muslim enthusiasts spreading the word. Cleveland Steve Beastie from Chicago was a natural prospect. The dozens of self-styled ayatollahs working out in the Attica prison gym or passing time outdoors in the exercise yard never let Cleveland Steve from Chicago out of their sight. It took less than six months inside for Beastie to convert to Islam, but then, Steve Beastie didn’t know what he was converting from.

Anyway, Cleveland Steve Beastie from Chicago became a Muslim. And not just an ordinary Muslim. A fanatic Muslim. The first thing he did was change his name. He got rid of the hated moniker and became Rasheed Jamal. The next thing he did was build himself up. Rasheed Jamal—a large man to begin with—became even larger. Every part of him grew in size. Jamal never missed an opportunity to go to the gym and work on buffing up his body. He was slowly meta-morphosing into something very scary looking. Using a combination of steroids and weights, Jamal turned himself into an absurdly muscular giant. He began to appear if not better looking, then at least loftier, more reverential, more imposing. His nappy hair had become prematurely gray and the gap between his two upper front teeth, though more pronounced than before, seemed to suit him. The space gave the convict a pleasant look when he wanted to appear pleasant. And finally, Rasheed Jamal personally ordained himself an imam. An imam is a respected Islamic scholar, a direct descendant of Muhammad, and a man who leads the prayers in a Shi’i mosque. No one in the entire prison population complained. No one dared to.