“How do you think I buy us cigarettes, Remy?”

“I—” I began. “I don’t know, you always go to the same gas station. I thought maybe the guy there didn’t card?” It sounded dumb as soon as I’d said it.

“Oh. Um, no.” She stuck the cigarette case in her bag and pulled out her wallet. “Here.” It was a Tennessee license that said she was twenty-two. “I never told you?”

I shook my head. “Aren’t you afraid we’ll get into trouble?”

“Look,” she said, sighing. “This isn’t really your kind of thing.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re a little uptight. No, that’s not the right word, sorry. Inflexible, that’s better. You like schedules. ‘It’s ten, let’s go home now,’ that kind of thing.”

I was too shocked to speak. It took only a few words from Elise to make me feel special, but it took only a few words from her to make me feel like shit.

“Why don’t you go home? I’ll join you later. Take my keys. I’ll catch a ride with Jae or something, okay?” She pressed the keys to the Pink Caddy into my hands and gave me a quick hug before running to catch up with the others.

“Okay?” I said, but she was already gone. I couldn’t believe how easy it’d been for her to leave me behind without a backward glance.

Not feeling like going home, I sat on the front steps staring off into the darkness. I felt betrayed. I thought about driving to the football field where they were heading, and joining up with them again. I could be spontaneous, I could be fun.

The things she said about me were devastating, and the way she said them was like she was talking about someone like Melody—completely dismissive. But that wasn’t the most heartbreaking thing about what she’d said. What hurt the most was knowing that she was enough for me, but I wasn’t enough for her.

Then the door opened behind me, startling me out of my thoughts. I turned around to see a guy standing there in jeans and a worn Superman tee, towering over me with his own look of surprise.

“Shitty night?” he said, plopping down.

“Do I know you?” I asked, hoping to make him go away.

“Don’t think so,” he said. “Hi, I’m Jack.”

24.

My heart didn’t skip a beat when our eyes first made contact. Sparks didn’t fly, the earth didn’t shake. If I couldn’t be with Elise, I wanted to be alone.

“I hate these things,” Jack said, cocking his head back at the door and the party beyond it.

I glanced over, trying to place his face. I might’ve seen him inside but couldn’t remember where. With his imposing height, square jaw, and dark hair, he looked like he could actually tie on a red cape and fly off as Superman. He looked like a jock, not like someone who’d hate parties.

“Then why are you here?” I said, wishing he hadn’t sat down. I just wanted to be left alone to despair in peace.