She had terrible nightmares. Sometimes I’d wake up to the sound of desperate whimpers. I always woke her and held her tight until she fell back asleep. “Shhh,” I whispered softly, running my hand over her long dark hair.

Jack and I texted whenever I had a free moment, which wasn’t often in the first week after Elise moved into my house. She knew I had to tell him, that it was too big to keep under wraps since I had to explain why I couldn’t see him. She’d hated the idea of anyone knowing about the abuse she suffered, but now that those closest to her knew, it seemed like she wanted me to tell him, so he’d know what he’d inadvertently done. Jack felt awful, told me it was all his fault. That was also what Elise thought, though she never said it out loud. To her, it was so obvious it didn’t need to be acknowledged. But it wasn’t his fault. I was the one who made the decision to ignore her messages that night. I was the one who failed her.

“I know you came as soon as you could, Remy.” It wasn’t soon enough.

“Don’t blame yourself, it wasn’t your fault.” It was Jack’s fault.

“I know you would’ve been there sooner if you knew.” You only ignored my texts and calls because of Jack.

She didn’t say it out loud but the subtext was there. It reminded me of what she said to me: Love makes you do crazy things. I don’t mean love like ours. I mean infatuation. What we have is true love, the way we feel about each other is real. The way I felt about Christian wasn’t. I was infatuated with him and it made me crazy. It’s the same with Jack. You’ll see. You’re just infatuated with him. One day you’ll do something in the name of love and you’ll regret it.

Maybe she was right, in the end. But the way I felt about Jack wasn’t just infatuation, what we had was real. And it hurt every time I couldn’t answer his calls or texts.

Jack: How is she?

Jack: I know she needs you right now

Jack: But I want you to know I miss you

Jack: Call me when you can?

The only time I could talk to him was when Elise had fallen asleep, but I couldn’t be gone for too long in case she woke up. It was nerve-wracking, and I missed him, but I’d made a promise to be there for her when she needed me and I was going to keep that promise.

“Hey,” I whispered, when I managed to slip away one night.

“Hey,” he said, whispering back, and it felt so good, hearing his voice. We were quiet for a moment, letting the sound of our matching breaths do all the talking.

“Miss you,” he said, breaking the silence.

“Me too,” I admitted after a moment. He asked how Elise was doing, told me how his swim times were coming along, but then I had to go, afraid Elise might need me.