I nodded. “I want to find out what happens.”

It was almost seven in the morning when we finished. I was on the precipice of sleep, slumped over against Elise, just barely keeping my eyes open.

“Rem?” she whispered.

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

My eyes fluttered open and I smiled. “I love you too.”

FRIDAY // FEBRUARY 3 // DAY 147

21.

For a couple weeks after the New Year, I watched Elise carefully, wondering if she’d bring up that night or snap at me like that again, but she didn’t. It was easy to think the Elise I’d glimpsed on New Year’s Eve was a weird, one-time thing. That wasn’t the Elise I knew.

She began to spend more time at my house. Even though she never said why, I knew she wanted to be there for me, shield me from my parents’ battles. I’d never had that before, someone who cared about me like that. And while Elise still had other friends, I was her best friend.

A few faces had changed, but Julie Adichie and Jae Park were always at Elise’s lunch table, along with newcomers Madison Laurent, who was Julie’s girlfriend, and Ben Torres, who was a midyear transfer from Florida.

Some nights, Elise would drag me out with them, and we’d go to McDonald’s or Waffle House for breakfast at midnight, or go for an aimless drive. On our first nighttime adventure, we all went to the football field at school and sat on the Astroturf, smoking and talking. At some point, Jae took out his phone to play music and Julie took Madison’s hand, the two of them dancing in the dark.

“Come on,” Elise said, pulling me up too. She twirled me and I laughed, feeling exhilarated, the winter air sharp against my skin. Eventually we all collapsed onto the ground, breathless.

Melody would never approve, I thought. It wasn’t a school night, but it was still late and we were technically trespassing on our own school property. Then again, Melody and I weren’t talking much by that point.

The last time we spoke had been over two weeks ago. She’d cornered me after school one day. “I’m worried about you,” she began, and I could already feel my defenses coming up.

“What do you mean?” I asked. I’m sure she really thought she was worried about me, but I couldn’t help but think that she was just jealous.

“You seem different. It’s like you just moved on from obsessing over Cameron to obsessing over Elise,” she said with a frown.

I shrugged it off. “What do you want, Mel?”

“Nothing,” she said, looking hurt. “You’re my oldest friend. My best friend.”

I stayed quiet but felt bad. “You say that like we’re not friends anymore.”

“Are we?” Melody asked. “I never see you and you don’t even bother to text me back most of the time.”

“I’m sorry.” I meant it, but both of us knew I wasn’t going to come back to the fold. I never felt like I fit in with Mel and her friends, and now I had Elise, someone who knew and loved the real me.