At my house, Elise and I went straight to the pool. We stretched out on loungers, the weather-resistant fabric rough against my skin, and she lit up a cigarette for each of us.

“Why’d you call me? You didn’t need me,” I said. In the rush of the moment, I was only focused on what we were doing, but now that we were alone, I was curious.

“Yes, we did! You brought the peanut butter. It wouldn’t have worked without the peanut butter,” she said, shooting me a sleepy smile.

“Anyone else could’ve brought the peanut butter.” I only kept pushing because I was secretly hoping that what she wanted wasn’t the peanut butter but me.

“You were our lookout! You were crucial to the entire operation, and I won’t let you minimize your importance,” she said, sliding off of her lounger and scooting onto mine. “Also, I missed you.”

Hearing those words thrilled me. “You did? Why didn’t you just—” Text? Call? Sit with me at lunch?

She sighed. “You’re always with Melody and it’s obvious she doesn’t like me.”

“No, that’s not true!” I said, but it was.

Elise rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay.”

“She just doesn’t know you,” I said, slinging an arm around her. It was so easy, slipping back into how we were that first night, like no time had passed. “I think you should give her another chance. You guys have a lot of things in common.” I didn’t want to lose Elise again, but I didn’t want to hurt Melody either.

Elise raised an eyebrow. “We have a lot in common? I’d rather die than spend an evening baking stuff and then setting up a table in the cafeteria to sell crappy cookies.”

“One, Melody’s cookies are amazing. Two, she isn’t like that all the time. She can be fun. And three, she thinks boys are stupid too, just like you do.”

She sighed again, dramatically, then began to fiddle with her lighter, flipping it open and closed, sparking a flame and letting the wind blow it out.

“Fine, whatever. But if she tries to get me to bake something again, I’m out.”

“Okay,” I said, relieved. “I’ll let her know.”

Elise laughed lightly, resting her head against my shoulder and closing her eyes.

SATURDAY // NOVEMBER 19 // DAY 71

14.

I turned seventeen in Elise’s pink convertible, the two of us in the front seat, my feet propped up on the dashboard, her legs hanging over the driver’s-side door, our eyes staring up at the dark sky.

Melody had brought cake to school on Friday and we were going to have a sleepover at her house, as was our tradition. But when Elise asked if I was free, I canceled on her at the last minute, lying about a stomachache. I’d been doing that a lot lately, even though I wasn’t trying to avoid Mel. Elise joined us for lunch more often but they remained cordial at best.

“I don’t get her,” Melody told me once, and I almost laughed because that was exactly how Elise felt about her.