“Keely,” he whispers again, his voice so soft I can barely make it out. “You drive me crazy.” He moves his hand from my cheek and trails his fingertips down my neck, and then to the delicate skin of my collarbone. I shiver, my eyes fluttering closed of their own volition. We’re on the brink, standing on the edge of the cliff, about to jump. And once we’ve jumped, there’s no turning back. I know what we’ve done has already changed everything, but maybe the strings could still be untangled. But not if we keep going—not after this.

“Do you have the condom?” I whisper, my voice catching.

“It’s in your bag, right?”

I pull away from him and scramble for the backpack, which is on the floor on the other side of the bed. My hands are shaking so much I have trouble with the zipper, but finally I get the little square package out and hand it to him. I feel slightly dizzy, the room sliding in and out of focus as I try to get my bearings.

“Okay, so,” I whisper. I don’t know why I’m whispering, considering we’re all alone in the house, but it seems like speaking in a normal voice would interrupt something. “I guess you should open it. Or no, actually maybe I should try to put it on you. Good teaching moment, right? Do you think Dean would be into that? That would look—”

“I don’t think it matters.” His voice is strained.

“He might be impressed if I knew how to—”

Andrew kisses me again, lying over me, and I kiss him back, forgetting about the condom for a moment at the feel of his lips and tongue. “Keely,” he says, and I feel the word against my lips. “Let’s just . . .” He doesn’t finish, instead brushing fluttering kisses over my jaw. He pulls away and looks at me, his face barely an inch from mine. “I’ll put it on,” he says.

I nod, unable to speak.

“Are you sure about this?” His voice is scratchy and low. “I need you to tell me that you’re sure.”

I nod again, surprised how much I want him to continue. I ache in a way I didn’t expect. Now we’ve come this far, it’s hard to stop. I want to go through with things—feel suddenly there’s a small piece of me missing.

It’s so different from how I felt when I was in this same position with Dean. I remember the anxiety that flooded me then, how my brain was moving in a million different directions and I couldn’t get it to slow down. It feels slowed down now—calm and sure. It’s probably because I’m comfortable with Andrew; he’s not someone I’m trying to impress.