“Let’s hope my mom never meets Party Andrew,” he says, shoving me back.

“Party Andrew eats bacon,” I say. “She’d be horrified.”

“Yeah. That’s the part that would make her the maddest.” He laughs, snuggling into my shoulder like a cat. “C’mon, Collins, you wouldn’t date me?”

“Oh, are you done with Cecilia?” I ask, pursing my lips. “And Susie Palmer? And Sophie Piznarski? And—”

“All right,” he says. “Point made.”

“It’s a moot point really.” I give us another push with my foot so the hammock keeps swinging. “We all know you’re gonna make little blond babies with Cecilia. Little Sally and Bobby.”

“You named them?”

“You named them, Andrew. In the future. I’m just reporting back. Sally loves manicures, lip gloss, and binge drinking, by the way. Just like her mother.”

“You’re so weird.”

“She’s an adorable kid.”

He laughs and soon I’m laughing too, our shoulders shaking so hard the hammock shakes too. I take a deep, gulping breath, trying to regain control, and suddenly I snort. Andrew hears and loses it.

“No, really,” he says between choked laughter. “You’re the adorable one. The sounds that come from your body are just so cute.”

“You know what’s cute?” I snort again before I can stop myself. “Hearing you say the word condom in front of our parents. I think that’ll be seared into my brain forever.”

“Really?” he asks. “I could have called it a ‘rubber’ and that would have been worse.”

“A little raincoat,” I say.

“Hey—a big raincoat,” he says back, and we both burst out laughing again. It strikes me somewhere in the back of my mind that this is the first time it’s ever occurred to me that Andrew has a penis—that it’s there, not even a foot away from me—only hidden by a few pieces of fabric. It’s a weird, uncomfortable thought, one that sticks out at an awkward angle. I shove it quickly away, and then I’m laughing again and it’s gone like it never even happened at all.

FIVE

WE’RE SITTING IN Greek mythology Monday morning when Danielle gets the note.

It’s an easy class, one of the ones basically designed for spring seniors, where you’re always breaking into little discussion groups and everyone just talks about the weekend. Danielle and Ava usually sit next to Chase and some of the other basketball guys so they get maximum flirt time, but today they’re with me. Danielle has been weirdly nice since the party—she brought me an iced coffee and a Ziploc bag of homemade cheddar scones before class and then sat down next to me like it was totally normal.