Chapters (39)
- Cover
- Dedication
- ONE
- TWO
- THREE
- FOUR
- FIVE
- SIX
- SEVEN
- EIGHT
- NINE
- TEN
- ELEVEN
- TWELVE
- THIRTEEN
- FOURTEEN
- FIFTEEN
- SIXTEEN
- SEVENTEEN
- EIGHTEEN
- NINETEEN
- TWENTY
- TWENTY-ONE
- TWENTY-TWO
- TWENTY-THREE
- TWENTY-FOUR
- TWENTY-FIVE
- TWENTY-SIX
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- TWENTY-NINE
- THIRTY
- THIRTY-ONE
- THIRTY-TWO
- THIRTY-THREE
- THIRTY-FOUR
- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- ABOUT THE AUTHOR
- What’s next onyour reading list?
I realize suddenly that this is what it’s supposed to feel like—this ache between my legs, this urgent need in my chest, the feeling in my stomach like bubbling champagne. This was how I never felt with Dean, upstairs in that beautiful suite, on the canopy bed, where everything was supposed to be perfect.
I reach into my purse and pull out the condom—the one I had planned to use earlier. Fumbling, I hand it to him in the dark and listen as he rips it open and slides it on.
“Are you sure?” he asks, his whisper tickling my ear.
“Yes,” I say, and I am. I’m suddenly so sure that I might die if he doesn’t continue.
“I love you so much,” he whispers against my mouth.
“I love you too,” I whisper back.
And so I lose my virginity on prom night, and it isn’t perfect, because how could I expect it to be? Here’s what I’ve realized about moments: you can’t plan for them. The best ones are always the ones that take you by surprise.
THIRTY-FOUR
SO WHAT I DIDN’T know is that pulling a fire alarm is a misdemeanor, which means it goes on my record and I could actually go to jail.
Luckily that doesn’t happen.
What happens is this: Andrew and I come out of the cupboard eventually and are taken down to the station. Andrew’s uncle calls his parents, who then call my parents, and soon they’re all at the police station with me, pulled out of bed in pajamas and bathrobes and all with something to say. My parents have never been so mad at me (not just about the alarm, but also the hotel room, and the whiskey, and the whole resisting arrest thing), and when they eventually tire of yelling, Andrew’s parents step in and take over. In the end, I’m fined seven hundred dollars, which I’ll be working for months at the video store to pay back. I would say that spending all summer with Dean is the worst thing I could possibly imagine, but it beats jail. Barely.
Andrew is thrilled by the fact that I’m officially a criminal. When I wake up the morning after prom, his truck is waiting in my driveway. I’m supposed to be grounded until graduation, but my parents give me five minutes to talk to him. Secretly, I think the exception is because of how excited they are that we’re together; I have to keep reminding my mom we’re too young for her to make jokes about our babies.