Do you remember the nights we were together, haloed in the rays of your soul, and the angels of love circled about us singing anthems of the spirit’s deeds? Do you remember the days we sat shadowed by branches? They covered us like a tent to veil us from men as the ribs conceal the secrets of the saintly heart. Do you remember the paths and hills we walked together, your fingers entwined in mine like the twining of your hair? Our heads leaned upon each other as though we would protect ourselves from ourselves. Do you remember the hour when I came to bid you farewell? You embraced me, then kissed me. You gave me the kiss of Mary, and I knew that joined lips bear divine secrets that the tongue cannot know. A kiss is the preface to a two-fold sigh, telling the tale of the breath God blew into clay and thus made man. That sigh went before us to the world of the spirits, proclaiming the glory of our two souls. There it will remain until we are joined with it forever. Then you kissed me and kissed me, and you said, aided by a tear, “Bodies have purposes that we do not know. They are divided for worldly reasons and taken far apart for earthly ends. But spirits remain in the hand of love, safe until death comes and bears them away to God. Go, my lover, life has given you an order, so you must obey. It is gracious, giving the obedient overflowing cups to drink from the fountain of pleasure. As for me, your love will be a faithful bridegroom and your memory a long and blessed wedding feast.”

Where are you now, my companion? Do you lie wakeful in the silence of the night? I have charged the breeze whenever it blows toward you to bear to you the beating of my heart and the secrets of my limbs. Or are you staring at the picture of your lover? That picture is no longer true, for sadness has cast its image upon a brow that yesterday was happy being near to you. Grief has dulled the eyes that once shone with your beauty. Longing has dried the lips that once were moist with your kisses.

Where are you, my beloved? Do you hear my call and my grief from beyond the seas? Do you see my weakness and misery? Do you know my patience and my endurance? Are there no spirits in the air who will transmit the agonized breaths of a dying man? Are there no invisible cords between souls to carry the lament of the lovesick lover?

Where are you, my life? Darkness has embraced me and grief overwhelmed me. Smile in the air, and I will be restored. Breath into the æther, and I will be revived.

Where are you, my beloved, where are you?

Ah, how great is love, and how small am I!

AMONG THE RUINS