“I wrote to Mamma,” a teary-eyed Britta said when Susie arrived in her room. “I wanted her to know how much I need her here.” She fidgeted with the fabric of her long white nightgown.

“Well, you’re pretty much raised already. Won’t be long till you’re looking ahead to marryin’ and creating your own family, ain’t?”

Britta’s eyes caught hers, and she stared at her for a moment. Susie knew that expression. It was as though she were thinking, But what about you, Susie?

Susie wanted to quickly change the subject, but Britta went on, “I really don’t want Mamma to stay away for much longer. It was hard enough when Allen and Sarah up and left like they did. Now this . . . it’s too much.”

Susie went to sit on the bed, slipping her arm around her, not speaking.

“Allen and Sarah won’t persuade her to live there forever, will they?” Britta asked, leaning her head on Susie’s shoulder.

Susie clenched her jaw, trying not to give in to tears herself. “Don’t fret, sister. Mamma will come home eventually.”

Still, Britta wept, and as Susie stroked her long hair, she recalled the photo of Kathleen Stratton. Why had the fancy young woman given her baby up to be adopted?

She couldn’t help wondering how Britta would feel, knowing that Mamma had kept a photo of the woman. It crossed Susie’s mind again that Britta might want to see it before they mailed the file to Missouri.

She struggled back and forth with the idea. Mamma trusts me, she thought.

Yet she longed to quell Britta’s deep sadness . . . somehow.

CHAPTER
29

It took a few days for the truth that Mamma wouldn’t be home anytime soon to fully sink in. The realization pierced Susie. I’ve looked after her since I was a youngster, she thought. Wasn’t it good enough?

The latter thought nagged her nearly every waking hour.

Between keeping the household running, her own work, and helping Britta oversee Mamma’s little shop, Susie began to feel spent at the end of the day. Never before had she run out of energy like this and wanted to simply give up, or even let a circumstance get the best of her. But I can’t quit, she thought. If only for Britta’s sake.

The next morning, after the kitchen was cleaned up and Britta left to babysit for the Ebersols, Susie trudged out to the stable to groom Brambles before getting the family carriage out of the shed. Afterward, she hitched up and headed off to tend to her list of errands, including the weekly grocery shopping at the General Store.