I nodded.

“Yes, it’s him. He’s having some kind of attack. Do I need to—You sure? All right, I guess.”

The phone pressed against my ear. “Kid?” I heard him say. “You listen to me. I know you can’t talk, but listen. You know what to do. Calm yourself. Stop doing anything but hearing me. You got me? Just. Stop.”

“Hurts,” I said.

“I know it does. I know. But you are stronger than this. You are better than it is. You fight, you hear me? You push through it and you fight. What do we do?”

“Breathe.”

“That’s right. We breathe, Kid. Just breathe.”

And I did. For him, I did.

Eventually I calmed. Eventually the haze went away. Eventually the panic receded, the tide going out, like it always did. The aftershocks were there, those little earthquakes that screamed IT’LL BE BACK! IT WILL COME FOR YOU AGAIN! I ignored them. For now.

“You need me to come get you?” Bear asked me once I was able to breathe again. “Say the word, Kid. I’ll get someone to cover class for me, and I’ll be there. Or Otter can come right now. He’s shooting some old barns today for that travel magazine, but one of us can be there.”

“No,” I said. “I… I’m okay.” I wasn’t, but I was getting there.

“What was it?”

I knew what he meant. What had happened to set this one off? The doctor had told us if we talked about it afterward, it helped to take away its power. Quack psychobabble bullshit, honestly.

But I did it anyway. I always did. “Julie. That day she came back.”

Bear sighed. “You know it can’t happen now, right?”

“Yeah.”

“You know she’s long gone.”

“Yeah.” I did. And I didn’t. Panic disorder doesn’t always allow rational thought. Though, being on the far side of it, I always wondered how I ever got there in the first place.

“You have class?”

“In a bit.”

“Maybe you should take the day off.”

“I have labs.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am. Bear?”

“Yeah?”

“I want this to stop. So bad.”

“I know, Kid. I know you do. And one day, it even might. But if it doesn’t, then you call me and I’ll make it go away.”

“Promise?”

No hesitation. “Promise. We’ll get through this. We will.”

It was only then I became acutely aware that I was having a Touching Hallmark Family Moment brought to you by my older brother while a complete stranger held my phone to my ear. Neat.

“I gotta go,” I said as my face burned.

As I pulled my head away from the phone, I heard Bear shout, “Whoever your friend is, he sure sounds cute!” Quite loudly. For all to hear. Within four city blocks.

That fucking jerk.

I looked down at my hands.

“You know,” said the guy next to me (because it was a guy, I could tell that now, even if I wasn’t looking up at him), “he’s quite right. I am pretty cute.” He pressed the phone into my hands and I saw dark skin, felt the scrape of thin, soft fingers against mine.