Contents ( 42)
- The Art of Breathing
- Part One: How We Became Who We Are
- Prologue: Or, Where the Kid Hears the Word of the Day
- 1. Where Tyson Learns to Breathe
- 2. Where Tyson Makes a Phone Call
- 3. Where Tyson Graduates and Bear Freaks Out
- 4. Where Tyson Says Good-Bye
- 5. Where Tyson Gets the Mail
- Part Two: Coming Home
- 6. Where Tyson Comes Home
- 7. Where Tyson Gives a History Lesson
- 8. Where Tyson Attends the Most Awkward Party Ever
- 9. Where Tyson Plans Attends a Protest
- 10. Where Tyson Gets Arrested
- 11. Where Tyson Gets His Ass Handed to Him
- 12. Where Tyson Writes Bad Poetry and Gawks at Frat Boys
- 13. Where Tyson Decides to Man the Fuck Up
- 14. Where Tyson Asks Some Questions
- 15. Where Tyson Remembers Theresa Jean Paquinn
- 16. Where Tyson Learns the Benefit of Therapy
- 17. Where Tyson Meets the Man Who Becomes Helena Handbasket
- 18. Where Tyson Gets Screwed at His Own Birthday Party (And Not in a Good Way)
- Part Three: Just Breathe
- 19. Where Tyson Goes to Helena Handbasket’s Sex Dungeon
- 20. Where Tyson Beholds the Awesome Wonder That Is Paul Auster
- 21. Where Tyson Receives Advice from the Six Sages
- 22. Where Tyson Makes a Phone Call
- 23. Where Tyson Hears the Inevitable
- 24. Where Tyson Meets His Match
- 25. Where Tyson Says Hello, Where Tyson Says Good-bye
- 26. Where Tyson Touches upon the Inevitable
- 27. Where Tyson Faces the Music
- 28. Where Tyson Breathes
- 29. Tyson And Dominic
- 30. The Art Of Breathing
- Epilogue: Or, Bear’s Perspective, As It Were (Yeah, He’s Gonna Freak)
- Author’s Note
- Excerpt
- Prologue: Or, Where Bear Answers the Door
- More from TJ Klune
- Readers love the Bear, Otter, and the Kid Chronicles by TJ Klune
- By TJ Klune
Well.
Have I got a story to tell you.
Imagine, if you will, a beautiful cow named Carl. Carl is a Red Angus, the hairs on his body a deep maroon that catch the early morning light, causing him to flash like fire. He grew up on a pretty farm in the mountains and dreams of one day being the head cow in charge of his herd. He’s recently met a lovely heifer named Jennifer who sparks his cowish fancy. It’s the swish of her tail that first catches his eye, the way she bends over and licks the salt block with her long, flat tongue that causes his five-pound heart to skip a couple of beats in his broad chest. He’s two years old and is in the prime of his life. He’s ready, you see, to enter bullhood, leaving the calf life behind. He’s decided that the very next day, he’ll make his move and let Jennifer know how he feels by mounting her in front of the herd to display his cowness.
He’s nervous! He’s excited! He feels like he could jump over the moon!
But then it all comes crashing down.
He’s awakened early the next morning when men come and herd him and his fellow cows up onto ramps that lead into trucks of dirty metal. He bellows for Jennifer, but she is nowhere to be found. His eyes are wide, and he flares his nose in fear. He tries to break away, but the push of his brethren is too strong, and he is forced into the back of the truck, his face in the ass of another cow he barely knows.
All of them call out as the rear door slides shut, casting them all into darkness. The men laugh. There’s a knock on the metal paneling. The truck rumbles to life, and they are on the move.
But not for long.
It seems like only seconds have passed when the truck stops and the rear door slides open again, the bright light flashing against Carl’s eyes, causing him to cry out again. He shouts for Jennifer frantically, but even if she’s there, he can’t hear her over the call of the others. It’s also unlikely that she could hear him. There is only confusion. Chaos. What is happening? Carl wonders. What is going on?
He’s forced into the light and is startled to find himself in a chute of sorts, a high metallic fence around him, a dull and rusty orange. There’s no grass here, no feed in front of him. There’s no field that smells like sunshine. There’s no Jennifer. This is not his home. This is hell.
His brothers and sisters around him begin to move down the chute. He has no choice but to follow them. It’s a tidal wave of flesh and bone, and he cannot fight against it.
He is pushed into a large room filled with men. One stands in front of him and cackles maniacally. The man grabs Carl by the head and pulls him along. He’s thrust forward into a metal device that closes around his head, holding him in place. He kicks up his back legs, wrenching his neck in the process. Paneling raises on either side of him, pressing against his sides, holding him up and in place.