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Back The Art of Breathing Save as PDF
Contents ( 42)
  1. The Art of Breathing
  2. Part One: How We Became Who We Are
  3. Prologue: Or, Where the Kid Hears the Word of the Day
  4. 1. Where Tyson Learns to Breathe
  5. 2. Where Tyson Makes a Phone Call
  6. 3. Where Tyson Graduates and Bear Freaks Out
  7. 4. Where Tyson Says Good-Bye
  8. 5. Where Tyson Gets the Mail
  9. Part Two: Coming Home
  10. 6. Where Tyson Comes Home
  11. 7. Where Tyson Gives a History Lesson
  12. 8. Where Tyson Attends the Most Awkward Party Ever
  13. 9. Where Tyson Plans Attends a Protest
  14. 10. Where Tyson Gets Arrested
  15. 11. Where Tyson Gets His Ass Handed to Him
  16. 12. Where Tyson Writes Bad Poetry and Gawks at Frat Boys
  17. 13. Where Tyson Decides to Man the Fuck Up
  18. 14. Where Tyson Asks Some Questions
  19. 15. Where Tyson Remembers Theresa Jean Paquinn
  20. 16. Where Tyson Learns the Benefit of Therapy
  21. 17. Where Tyson Meets the Man Who Becomes Helena Handbasket
  22. 18. Where Tyson Gets Screwed at His Own Birthday Party (And Not in a Good Way)
  23. Part Three: Just Breathe
  24. 19. Where Tyson Goes to Helena Handbasket’s Sex Dungeon
  25. 20. Where Tyson Beholds the Awesome Wonder That Is Paul Auster
  26. 21. Where Tyson Receives Advice from the Six Sages
  27. 22. Where Tyson Makes a Phone Call
  28. 23. Where Tyson Hears the Inevitable
  29. 24. Where Tyson Meets His Match
  30. 25. Where Tyson Says Hello, Where Tyson Says Good-bye
  31. 26. Where Tyson Touches upon the Inevitable
  32. 27. Where Tyson Faces the Music
  33. 28. Where Tyson Breathes
  34. 29. Tyson And Dominic
  35. 30. The Art Of Breathing
  36. Epilogue: Or, Bear’s Perspective, As It Were (Yeah, He’s Gonna Freak)
  37. Author’s Note
  38. Excerpt
  39. Prologue: Or, Where Bear Answers the Door
  40. More from TJ Klune
  41. Readers love the Bear, Otter, and the Kid Chronicles by TJ Klune
  42. By TJ Klune

Maybe I should have known when I come down the stairs and see Corey pouring Bear a glass of wine, dropping me a secretive wink as he hands my distracted brother the glass, which is filled to the brim.

Maybe I should have known when Stephanie Grant hands me a dish of asparagus to take out to the back patio, and all I can think about is Bear dressed as the Jolly Green Giant and I throw up a little bit in my mouth.

Maybe I should have known when I walked by Creed telling his son a knock-knock joke that involves a dirty rabbit, all the while warning him that he would put him up for adoption if he ever told his mother where he’d heard it. “And not the good adoption agency,” Creed said. “The bad one where they hang the kids in the closets by their thumbs when they’re bad.”

Maybe I should have known when I went back inside to grab the plates and I heard Otter say to Bear quietly, “We don’t have to do this now, okay? If you’re not ready, then we don’t have to do it. This is you and me, okay? I’m fine if that’s all there is. You know that, Papa Bear.”

Bear nodded and took another drink of wine. He looks extraordinarily nervous about something, which does not bode well for his sobriety.

Maybe I should have known when Alice Thompson handed her husband Jerry another bottle of wine as the first one was almost gone between the old people.

Maybe I should have known when we all sat down and Corey eyed us all with an anticipatory Machiavellian gleam.

Maybe I should have known. But apparently I didn’t.

Did you hear that? That was me sighing.

You should know by now how these things start.

Yeah, that’s right. With the “what we’re thankful for” prayer. Can I get a motherfucking amen? Hallelujah!

“Hey, God,” Alice says after we all join hands and bow our heads. “It’s us again. Thank you for the bounty you’ve bestowed up on us.” I crack open an eye and see that the main entrée in the middle resembles Slimer from Ghostbusters. It’s obviously vegetarian, but it still looks like it’s alive. Alice is awesome, but her cooking is a crime against humanity. “I’m thankful for the fact that our family is back together again, finally! Please watch over Tyson as he begins a grand new adventure.”

That’s a polite way of putting it, I guess. It’s the thought that counts.

Ian, Anna’s dad, is next, as always. “I’m thankful for the health of my family, and that my grandson will probably give the Kid a run for his money in the smarts department.” He doesn’t see that JJ is picking his nose with a fork and staring at the ceiling. I’m not too worried about having my position usurped.

Stephanie Grant is next. “I’m thankful for being able to find another job so quickly after being laid off.”