Still later, he was woken by the flickering of the bathroom light going on. He sat up, thinking he’d seen Tony standing at the foot of his bed, naked.

‘Just sleepwalking, mate,’ James heard his cousin say from the bathroom. Then the light went off and he sensed a shadow pass quickly back to the other bed.

When he thought it was safe, James started brushing his hand over the end of his penis, imagining Tony hadn’t retreated but stayed and lifted James’s bedcovers, discovering something he liked underneath.

Sudden pleasure pulsated through him with a shocking ripple that became a wave of confusion about what part of it might be real. James looked for Tony’s form in the half light, but his cousin was facing the wall, his breathing regular.

James’s feet were suddenly hot, so he pushed the sheet aside and stared at the ceiling. Water must have run down from the cornices to the picture rail years ago. Within their subtle lines, he convinced himself he could see a map of some imaginary land.

Perhaps he could lose himself in it. If they all suspected he was a poofter, he’d just put all the intriguing thoughts and images of men out of mind until times such as this, when it was safe to bring them back. By day, men like Tony would be just a distraction, something to be forced down, like the chewy vegetarian rissoles his aunt had prepared for dinner now that Mum was here.

It was probably morning already. A new day. Time to start afresh. The idea of sticking with his mother and taking his cues from her settled James back into proper sleep.

It was a Sunday, so alarms didn’t sound or dogs stir. James turned and looked for Tony, but the other bed was vacant.

Voices eventually drew him towards the kitchen; but the tone of the conversation made him stop before he reached the threshold.

Mum was conversing from the table, while the familiar noises of his aunt sounded from the pantry. Beyond that were voices of men and a car on the drive, and the chattering of dogs mixed with similar sounds from Yvonne.

‘Father’s giving Tony his wedding present early; it’s old Mr Brandt’s car. He’s been restoring it in secret up in the back shed,’ Aunty Doris said. ‘You ought to send Jamie out to have a look, whenever he gets up.’

Vehicles bored him. Men talking about cars repelled him. Mum knew that.

‘It’s the wedding rehearsal today, isn’t it?’ his mother asked, changing the subject.

‘After church,’ his aunt said, voice coming from inside the pantry. ‘You’re welcome to come along, but don’t feel compelled. I can take the family tree and put it up at the club.’

‘Oh, I’ll save church for the wedding,’ Mum said.

The telephone on the wall rang. His aunt crossed to it.