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Chapters (33)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Prologue 2005
  5. One 2005
  6. Two 1985
  7. Three 2005
  8. Four 1985
  9. Five 2005
  10. Six 1985
  11. Seven 2005
  12. Eight 1985
  13. Nine 2005
  14. Ten 1985
  15. Eleven 2005
  16. Twelve 1985
  17. Thirteen 2005
  18. Fourteen 1985
  19. Fifteen 2005
  20. Sixteen 1985
  21. Seventeen 2005
  22. Eighteen 1985
  23. Nineteen 2005
  24. Twenty 1985
  25. Twenty-One 2005
  26. Twenty-Two 1985
  27. Twenty-Three 2005
  28. Twenty-Four 1985
  29. Twenty-Five 2005
  30. Epilogue 2005
  31. Acknowledgements
  32. Author’s Note
  33. About the Author

‘Young Mr Jones is the best man,’ Uncle Bill said. ‘Hope he’s still up to the task?’

‘Ah, Johnny Jones drives like a faggot, if you ask me,’ Dad said. ‘There was no roo. All he did was hit a tree on the road back to town.’

‘Well, anything can happen on a buck’s night,’ Uncle Bill said.

‘And usually does!’ Dad added.

‘Go and put your shoes on,’ his aunt said, startling James as she passed back into the kitchen with their bags. ‘And don’t you go blurting this out to your mother tomorrow.’

The short drive to The Mulgas in their father’s police car was completed in the profound country darkness that encourages sleep for everyone apart from the disturbed and wary, and James was both.

He felt he had good reason: nobody had even mentioned Dad’s new girlfriend, but he hadn’t forgotten that returning to his old home might be even more confronting than a few days with Aunty Doris.

The homestead’s outside light blazed like a beacon, but before they were within its glow James had to open the gate at the top of the hill. Under the oppressive sky, head full of the hollow sounds emerging from his brother in the back seat, he felt tears on his cheeks and wished he’d worn socks.

While his father helped Alan through the side door of the old farmhouse, James knew where to turn on the light switches, and found himself in his original bedroom for the first time in years.

His bed and Alan’s were made, but an unused, musty smell rose as James sat against his pillows and he sneezed. The sound of the bath filling came from along the hallway and he heard his father’s stifled call, which must mean she was here, probably in his parents’ room at the other end.

James went to see. Dad had Alan balanced on the edge of the bath, cradling him.

‘Here, hold him up,’ Dad said, indicating where James should support his brother. ‘Get him out of those clothes. I’m going out to the car to get my first-aid kit.’

Alan was unusually compliant. As his brother shook himself out of his pants, James saw the bruise along the back of his right leg. The skin was not quite broken, but there was a growing welt.

‘You weren’t shooting roos, were you?’ James asked.

Alan turned, naked, hands over his crotch. ‘Jamie, get out now,’ he said. James stood blinking in the light. ‘Get out wouldya!’ his brother repeated, louder.

‘What’s going on in there?’ Dad called from the kitchen.

‘Nothing,’ Alan said, then flicked a harsh punch into his brother’s arm.

‘Ouch!’ James said.

‘If you don’t shut up and get out, I’ll do it again, harder.’

James rubbed the sore place. ‘I know what you were really doing,’ he whispered.