‘We’re not freaks, we’re humans,’ Tancredi said. ‘And we know nothing about a show. We’re on a quest to save the Universe from destruction.’

Their host was silent, seemingly absorbed in thought. Then he exclaimed: ‘Welcome to Obesitas!’

The travellers were almost thrown from his stomach. A huge hand descended from the sky, scooped them off his flesh and deposited them gently on the ground.

‘Allow me to assist you with your mission,’ he said in a lilting voice.

Tancredi was about to reply when he noticed that the giant was lying on some sort of floating contraption.

‘It’s a hoverboard,’ he explained, seeing Tancredi’s look of surprise, ‘our means of transport.’

As he spoke, he slipped off the board.

‘Unfortunately our bones have dissolved due to our corpulence,’ he laughed, regaining his mechanical mount.

Tancredi considered the proposition that this strange new world might contain the answer to his predicament. This species wasn’t human; perhaps they’d evolved beyond the petty conceits of mankind.

Cocomo was wary; her experience taught her to beware offers of help. The giant sensed her anxiety.

‘Let me put you at ease,’ he said. ‘I’ll tell you about our philosophy of life on Obesitas, then perhaps we can enjoy a Game Show.’

He hovered towards the group, bringing his face close up. It was like being approached by a vast speaking pink blancmange.

‘Very well,’ Tancredi replied, over a growl of disapproval from Kasbek.

The floating giant flashed a look of disgust at Kasbek, then made himself comfortable, adjusting the folds of his flesh like a blanket.

‘Obesitas is an ancient planet,’ he began.

‘Several millennia ago, our founding fathers considered the basic needs of all living things – food, warmth, sex. Of these, warmth is a given, as our sun shines brightly all year. Sex is important, but there are methods of reproduction that do not involve physical contact between the sexes. They concluded that only food was essential. Our society was therefore founded on the need to eat.’

‘But what of other imperatives?’ asked Tancredi. ‘Friendship, self-esteem, morality?’

‘I understand that these attributes are considered important in many societies. But here on Obesitas we keep it simple.’ He gurgled his pleasure. ‘Everything is boiled down to this single issue. As a result our lives are utterly uncomplicated.’

‘But should food dominate a culture?’

‘It has at many times on Earth. During the medieval period, being large was considered a sign of prosperity. Only the poor were thin. In the harem of the Turkish Sultan, the more corpulent the female, the greater the favours bestowed upon her. Lovely largeness. Clever people. European artists venerated capacious women as the highest form of beauty. At times corpulence was also linked to erotic arousal – yes! Ah! The sensuous pleasure of food! We have combined these traditions, then distilled them into a simple code for living: food is essential, fat is beautiful; the fatter the better.’

‘What about the health risks?’ enquired Tancredi.

‘Oh, we don’t worry about that,’ he replied with a chuckle. ‘Sanitalis is nearby. They love us, we pander to their every wish. In any event, we’re sedentary. We travel on our floating boards, we’re never out of breath except when we fall off. As for exercise, we learnt long ago that the battle to stay healthy will always be lost to injury, age or lack of willpower. It’s more calming to the mind, which governs health, not to worry about keeping fit.’