‘Look, Dom, I’m doing the best I can. I can’t live a lie just because I’m ill.’

‘So, I’d be the lie? Nice, Lex.’ Hurt seeps through his words.

‘No, I don’t mean that, I—’

‘It’s OK, I get it. I’m not exciting enough for you. I’m offering you a lifetime of love, stability and support, but it’s not enough.’

‘It’s not that—’

‘Then what is it?’

‘It’s… you’re… you suffocate me, Dom. You want to play the rescuer all the time. You treat me like an invalid. Yes, I’m ill. Yes, my life is a bit more uncertain and I’m vulnerable to flare-ups. But that can’t be the focus day in, day out. I’m still me. I do love you, but I can’t have a life where I can’t breathe because you’re just as overbearing as my—’

‘Lex, I have a reality check for you. People give a shit. You are ill and they just care about you. Deal with it. This guy, the only reason he doesn’t see you that way is because he doesn’t know.’

As Dom’s words pour through the earpiece in my phone, I suddenly feel sick. ‘You… you don’t know that.’

‘Well, I’m not the one who has to find out. Good luck, Lex. I hope he’s worth it. Maybe my mates are right, I should just appreciate that I’ve had a lucky escape.’

With that, he cuts the call, leaving me in cold, blunt shock. I stand like a statue for several seconds, unable to fathom what’s just happened. Then as I come to, I lean on the bollard in front of me, taking several deep shaky breaths. Once I’ve composed myself enough to face the others, I turn in the direction of the bar – where I see Matt standing just feet away from me, looking very confused indeed.

Chapter 28

The breath is knocked out of me again as I make eye contact with Matt. I try desperately to read what’s going on behind those dark, penetrating eyes. How much did he hear? The end of that phone call gave glaringly obvious clues to the two things I’ve been hiding, out of fear he would run for his beloved hills. If he did overhear, there’s no avoiding the final showdown: right here, right now.

‘Hey,’ I manage finally.

‘Hey.’ He mirrors me in his reply but stays where he is.

‘Sorry, my call took longer than I expected.’

‘That’s why I came out.’

‘Right.’

‘Is everything OK, Alex? I wasn’t eavesdropping. I only came out when you hung up but from your reaction, I can tell it wasn’t good news.’

Relief floods through me. He didn’t overhear. This isn’t going to be the conversation I dreaded it might be. But two things are now very clear: he knows something’s up; and he does not deserve anything other than the truth. But not right now. This is not the time or the place.

‘I, erm… Matt, there is something I need to talk to you about…’