‘There’s a statement every bloke is keen to hear,’ he quips. ‘It’s you, not me, right?’

I remain rooted to the spot. ‘It’s nothing like that. There’s… a couple of things you should know, before this goes any further. But would you mind if we had this chat tomorrow? It’s been an exhausting – but obviously amazing – evening and I feel like we should be with our friends right now.’

He seems to consider this. ‘Of course. If that’s what you want. Whatever it is though, Alex, I doubt it will change anything for me. You could announce you’re an international assassin with alien ancestry and a third leg and I’d still be completely into you.’

I try to smile at his attempt at reassurance. ‘Right. Well, that’s good to know. Though I’d say the extra leg discovery is unlikely, given our recent slumber parties.’

‘That is true.’

A fleeting memory of our first night together in my apartment passes through my mind, sending my hormones into a spin. They’re then put firmly back in check as I also remember Matt’s previous comment about the kind of future he’s looking for: an equally active wife, two-point four children and two dogs – living the outdoor lifestyle, climbing lots of hills together. A future I can never give him. His comment about whatever I have to say not changing anything, while amusing and gallant, will quickly lose its significance once the enormity of what I have to share with him sinks in. As this realisation dawns, a swell of premature loss creeps up on me. I have to fight against the raw emotion so he doesn’t pick up on it.

‘Let’s get back to the others then,’ says Matt. ‘Whatever this is, we’ll tackle it tomorrow, yeah?’

He extends his hand, encouraging me to join him. It’s as if the glue that’s been rooting me to the spot comes unstuck. I dive into his arms, pulling him into me as tightly as I can, all too aware that it may be one of the last times I get to hold him in this way.

‘Hey.’ He soothes me, then lifts my chin and kisses me softly. ‘I don’t know where you’re at, but I want you to know I’m falling for you – hard.’

Though I feel exactly the same way, I stay quiet, too scared to expose myself in this way when there’s still too much to be revealed. Tomorrow I’ll be telling Matt I have a lifelong degenerative disease that means I can never be part of the future he’s so passionate about; as well as admitting to the fact I’ve been torn between him and my ex. Cue another ‘lucky escape’. It almost seems inevitable.

‘What have you two been up to?’ Sammy gives Matt a boisterous wink as we enter the VIP area of the bar, hand in hand.

‘That would be telling, mate.’ Matt gives him a friendly jab in the arm. ‘Gin and tonic, Alex?’