Chapter 3

‘Alex? Lex, hon. Can you hear me?’ Sasha’s voice sounds distant, like it’s emanating from another world.

‘She’s starting to come round.’ Another faint voice enters my consciousness. ‘Alex? Alex, can you hear me, sweetheart?’

I open my eyes slowly, unable to communicate as my disoriented senses attempt to comprehend my environment: intermittent beeping, flashing lights in front of my eyes, blurry heads bobbing above me with muddled voices, the smell of well-worn carpet. Then throbbing pain.

‘Oh… oww…’ I whimper. ‘What’s… my head… so sore…’

I’m so groggy and dizzy, I can barely get the words out. I try instead to sit up but feel an immediate resistance on my shoulder.

‘Stay where you are, sweetheart,’ a caring but commanding female voice – the owner of the hand gently pressing against my body – instructs me. ‘Don’t try and get up. You’ve hit your head and we’re concerned about your neck because of the way you fell. You need to stay completely still until we put a neck brace on you and get you onto a spinal board. Just answer yes or no – do you understand what I’m telling you?’

‘I… yes… am I… hospital? Smells… hospital.’

‘You’re still in your office, Alex,’ the woman, who smells clinical, reassures me. ‘I’m Jill. I’m a paramedic and I’m here to look after you.’

‘Office… paramedic…’ I repeat, confusion clouding my mind until it all starts to come back to me, and I begin to panic. ‘Wait… oh, no… my team… the meeting… are they…’

‘Sshhh… they’re not here, Alex,’ Jill soothes me. ‘Forget about all that. It’s just you, me, my colleague, Dennis, and your friend, Sasha, who’s going to talk to you in just a second, OK?’

‘OK.’ Tears begin to track their way down my face, just below my temples: partly from the pain and shock, but also from a rising sense of humiliation that this has happened in my place of work.

‘Alex, we’re going to take you to hospital,’ says Jill. ‘Sasha’s going to come with you and your fiancé’s going to meet us there. Now, I just need to do some basic checks with you. Can you tell me what day it is?’

‘Eh… Monday.’ I blink at Jill, trying to take her in properly, but my brain doesn’t seem to be able to connect the different parts of her. She’s still more of a blur.

‘That’s great, Alex. And what city are you in?’

‘Glasgow.’

‘You’re doing really well,’ Jill continues to encourage me. ‘Now, can you tell me how many fingers I’m holding up?’

Jill’s hand appears in my sphere of vision. I try my best to focus on it, but my eyes refuse to cooperate; fingers seem to be swimming everywhere.

‘Five?’ I try.

‘How about now?’

‘Three?’ My trickle of tears turns into a sob from being unable to do anything but guess.

‘OK, sweetheart. That’s enough for now.’ Jill gives my hand a gentle squeeze. ‘We’re going to get you onto the spinal board in a moment. Sasha’s going to keep you company while we get it sorted. Meantime – really important – I need you to tell me straight away if you start to feel sick, and I need you to keep talking to us, even if you feel sleepy. Can you do that?’