“I tried to get help for her,” he continues. “She wouldn’t take the meds. Preferred to be in her own world. I tried to get her committed for her own safety, because being a woman on the streets is dangerous, but that was a disaster and she refused. I volunteer every week, hoping to see her. It’s the only way I can make sure she’s all right. It’s my only chance at hopefully catching a glimpse of the woman I once knew. The woman who once loved me.”

Tears burn my eyes, and for the first time in a long time, I’m speechless.

“There’s nothing I can say,” I murmur.

He emits a self-deprecating laugh. “It is what it is, right? I don’t like people to know. It’s not for public consumption. A sad story to make an excuse for why I am how I am or to exploit her. Her and her story . . . her plight is only for me to have and hold and suffer through. Nathaniel doesn’t even know when she’s here. I just . . . I want my world to stay away from hers, because she’s under enough pressure. If mine collided with hers, it might break her more than she already is.”

“You’re a good son, Jase. A good man.” And I love you too.

I draw in a shaky breath as he tugs at the back of his neck. “I wasn’t . . . I was hiding it. From everyone. Only the guys know, and so when you showed up there, I felt like I’d been laid wide open for you to exploit. It’s not a good feeling, and I pulled a typical Jase. I lashed out. I pushed you away. After I heard you . . .”

“Heard me what?” I whisper.

He looks at me, hurt flickering in his eyes. “After I heard you tell Nathaniel you could never love me, I . . . I guess I was looking for a way to hurt you.”

I stare at him as my chest aches and my breath catches. “I told him that because you told me you’d promised him not to get involved with me. I told him that to protect you.”

His expression flickers, the hurt shifting into something else entirely.

“And then I heard your voice text,” he murmurs. “I heard what you said to Paul—”

“What?” My eyes widen.

“Yes. All of it. His bullshit but more importantly, how I’m your everything. And . . . I knew if I let you walk away from me, I’d lose something that makes me a better person. Someone who means the world to me. You.”

The weight of everything settles over us, pressing down on my chest. I stand in my momma’s front yard with my heart in my throat, full of so much love for a man I don’t know how to hold on to, terrified of being hurt again.

“You scare me, Jase Gizmodo.”